Your first love example

what is love?

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No matter who you are in the world your first view on love is your parents. Your parents to each other, your parents to you, your parents to your siblings, your parents to their relatives and so on. Your parents have a big affect on how you perceive love.

And then comes your own relationships: with your friends, with friends of the opposite gender, and with other people you encounter in your life.

However, love in all these relationships is different. If you have a great relationship with your parents, their love life will have an impact on you.  As you get into your teenage years, getting along with your parents just never works out (or at least for most people), and that is where the relationships you have with others comes into play.

I grew up hearing my parents love story every weekend at the dinner table, to whatever new guest we were having that week.  It was an exciting story: they had a moment, and then two years later, on their very first date, my dad got down on one knee and asked my mother to marry him.  Now, it wasn’t religion that caused him to propose so fast, it was simply because he knew she was the one: so why the hell wait? Everyone loved their story, including, and especially me. I am a lot like my mother and I grew up hearing her say it a lot, so I knew I was going to have the same love story as she did.

When the first boy came along, I convinced myself so much that he was the one, I didn’t even allow myself to think about all the obvious signs of why this was such a bad idea.  Five horrible, long distant years later and I have come out with such a contorted view on relationships, happiness, and especially love.

Having such a high, beautiful experience of love ingrained in you distorts your view on love as it means to you.  The love of others can never be for you.  You need to learn to find love the way you need it, not the way others found it.  It is definitely hard to distinguish the two when you are so young, and it only becomes so much more complicated when you actually have an opinion and self-worth.

My one and only has taught me my first love example, not my parents love example, not a book or movie love example, but an example for myself, one that is only mine.

Who has given you yours?

Your Editor

 

 

 

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