That numbing feeling when the sound of those words touch your eardrums. If you feel that let down after hearing those words, remember: J.K. Rowling said it right: It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live. Do not keep the what ifs buried inside you: speak up. Express that you want something more.
No relationship can last without communication, and that is an understatement.
Being friends with the opposite gender can be complicated. It may first start out mutual with both sides but at the end of the day one person is going to be putting a little more into the relationship and waiting on the other end for something more. What people fail to implement is boundaries. Except now-a-days boundaries makes everything more exciting because there are limitations and room to explore things that should be off-limits.
I’d like to think that we can all be grown-ups and everyone can just mind the space they have been blessed with, but, no, that has been proven close to impossible. Which is sad, being that impossible is made up of the words: I’m possible. But that is for another post….
Friends. It is a hard balance when it is with the opposite gender, and now with society changing the way it is, within the same gender. People take nonverbal expressions to mean things others don’t mean to say. It becomes a conflict of she is acting one way but her words say otherwise, or anything along those lines to cause people to get confused and over think.
Many have had long successful relationships with the opposite gender but find me one that at some point one person felt something more and was shut down, or one person made a move and the other stood their ground, or they both enjoyed a moment but it was followed with we shouldn’t have or it was an accident we just weren’t in the right frame of mind (mind you- the person that starts that line is usually the one who didn’t feel anything more and the person who agrees with it is generally the person who just had their dreams crushed).
I’d like to say don’t enter into that battle field, but we all know that that is completely impossible. However, what I can start with is this:
- set boundaries
- Be friends with someone who respects you because they will respect your boundaries
- if you find yourself feeling unhappy where you are, don’t just let it be, either make things right or change what needs to be changed (and no one can help you with that because no one but yourself knows what you want and need most)
- if your opposite gender friend is your go-to person before your relationship partner, there may be something you want to figure out before it ends in hurting people you care about
Keep it classy, as they say.