Why can’t you just see

for your own sake… please

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I absolutely hate being in this position. I hate it. You know when you see someone doing something so stupid and you just want to slap their head into a wall because then maybe they will wake up and smell the coffee?! And realize what a total idiot they have been and how badly they are screwing up their life?

I can’t help but care about people. I genuinely care and want the best for people. It drives me up the wall when people CAN’T JUST OPEN THEIR EYES!!! It really isn’t so hard!!

I know, I know, easier to say then to actually do but come on!

Sorry, let me tell you what caused me to be like this:

Someone I know is in a very unhealthy relationship. She knows it but yet somehow keeps finding herself going back to him (duh, what can you expect?) but it is just so painful to watch her get hurt physically, emotionally, mentally. I know you’re probably thinking this happens to about half the population and who cares but I guess when it hits so close to home and it someone you don’t want to see in pain, it makes it a thousand times harder.

I hated going through what I went through. I wish someone would have slapped my head hard against the wall and made me realize that I am hurting myself in every form of way. I wish. I know she’s appreciative and she says I am right and she knows it’s not a good idea but she’s still going back. It kills me inside.

I wish I could do something more. I wish I can make things easier for her. I wish she would just care more about herself and realize what he is doing to her and that she deserves more than this in her life. I really wish.

But-

As another friend of mine said: sometimes you just have to let people live their life and learn from their own mistakes.

However, some people never learn, and for all we know she could end up killing herself one day from all the pain and misery this bastard is putting her through and then what?! I can tell you that when you’re in such a fragile position you do things you would have never imagined yourself doing, you become this person that is so not you, and if you ever wake up and smell the coffee you realize what has become of you and you may not have the proper surroundings to fix yourself up. I told her she has three choices: wait for something horrible to happen and then she’ll realize that when he says he’s going to change for the fiftieth time it won’t actually happen, or she can listen to me and take my life experiences and just save herself from having to go through this horrible life any longer, or she can do absolutely nothing and stay where she is burying herself deeper into a grave that she doesn’t realize he is digging for her. Now, I can’t understand why in any way she would want to choose anything but making herself a happy person but I know more than she knows that she’s not really in control. You’re never really in control. Take an addict for example, yes they can be sober for ten years but give them a drink and that’s it. You will never be in control- fully, that is. Yes, you will have some level of control over your life but their will be days where you find yourself crawling back into that grave he built for you and you won’t even realize it. That is why you have to always be on your toes and never let yourself, even for a split second, go down that path in your brain. It is just not a place to ever go once you have finally rid yourself of such an unhealthy relationship.

I legit went through her phone to block him and you know, in my days it was so much easier to block someone because you only had one thing to block them off of! I had to unfriend him on FaceBook, block him on Instagram, Snapchat, Whatsapp, some messenger app, that I was like, seriously? I can understand why you haven’t blocked him yet. Sheesh, just going through the whole process can kill you.

But at the end of the day I only hope that she won’t hurt herself and if she ever needs I will always be there for her. I let her know I am not disappointed in her, I understand her, and it is her decision but most importantly, I am there if and when she ever needs. If she won’t take my advice it is the least I can do. I know if I had someone with me when I went through it maybe I wouldn’t have gone as far as I did and maybe things would be different.

I won’t apologize for caring, and I won’t apologize for trying to convince you out of it, I’ll just apologize for not being there when it started and getting you far, far, away before you even began.

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