I have come to realize that I am one of those types of people who cringe from saying no or telling people I can’t do something that I either am supposed to or should be doing. For example, I have a doctor’s appointment coming up and I didn’t tell my boss yet because I am already taking off for something else… but the appointment is still on and I just need to just tell her already. It’s not like she is mean about how much I take off (she may be annoying for other reasons 🙂 ) but I still dislike having to tell her. My stomach gets all pins and needles type and it really is uncomfortable.
The funny thing is I have no problem telling people in my family no. Maybe that is just because I am comfortable with them but up until now I have never really considered myself to be one of those people who are afraid to say no.
My better half is the complete opposite though and to me, it feels like sometimes he says no way too quickly. But that is all a matter of perspective.
Yes, I will tell her I can’t come in on that day because I have no idea how long the appointment will be and if it will take most of the morning then I might as well make another appointment for the afternoon and get it out-of-the-way. My problem is though, since I do not know how long the appointment will take I am not sure how to schedule the other appointment that I need to schedule, which makes me unsure of whether I should tell my boss I am missing the whole day or only half of it. I could just be finding reasons to push-off asking her… I am not sure which feeling is stronger, more like I don’t want to have to decide which is stronger. I really do not want to be that person that doesn’t ever say no.
I emailed her right before I left work that I will be taking that day off as well. I ran out of work before she could message me… maybe I am one of those people who never say no.
My mother is and it makes it a thousand times harder for all of us at home. Someone asked on one of the group chats if we could host some people and I was actually shocked when my mother responded that she couldn’t. I wonder what made her finally say no. Maybe because she realized she is nine months pregnant and there already 5 guest in our home and where would she put five more?
All I know is that I better start learning how to stand up for myself with others not just those I am comfortable with so that when I have a family of my own I can put them before others.