Doctors, doctors, and more doctors. I don’t think in all my life I’ve been to so many doctors. Even when I kept collapsing and no one knew why. I am sick yet again. Don’t ask with what or how on earth but I am. And I am failing to remain positive. For that past five months I have been sick 20 out of the 30 days there are in a month. Why? I don’t know. But by now I know That I am allergic to half the antibiotics I have been put on, the strep shot kills. Like hell. Going in it was fine but the after effect had me on the floor, passed out.
Apparently when one has fever you are not supposed to cover them up in blankets to keep them warm because the heat gets trapped around them and causes the fever to stay up. I have gone from freezing to physically sweating in a matter of minutes. And this isn’t even a bad thing, I feel physically pained for those people sick with big diseases. I don’t know how they manage to get up, stay positive, and face another day. I’m being dramatic, I have my moments. But sometimes- when people around me are giving me a hard time- I can’t handle anything and everything is worse off than it is.
It’s pouring here and I just want to go outside and get soaked, sit under the beat of the rain and have my illnesses get washed away.
I’m cancelling my exam, the one I fought so hard to get. I can’t manage it between surgery and not feeling well. My study time is being slept away because I have no energy to get through the material I need to cover. It pains me. But my health comes first. I am not going to try and fight it any more. I possibly could have done it if my family would have respected my study time, and not continuously gave me the role of mother.
Something positive though, because life should never be so negative, my better half has gone above and beyond to make me happy, comfortable, and make sure I am putting myself first. It’s awfully romantic.
I guess that’s just how I have to look at all of this: some good, some bad, and make the good weigh more because it should.
To health 🍾