My Day

really just a brief moment in my head

It may sound a bit crazy but what is life if it isn’t?

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I am a very “list” type of person. I write a million ones all over the place. I know it is February but I just bought my 2018 calendar (which are so important- when you don’t like your calendar, there is a problem). CVS did not have as wide of a selection as I would have liked… but it will do. (Just BTW because I am not SOO obsessed with it, I have not been using it as much- point proven).

My life is currently like that movie Bride Wars with Kate Hudson and Anne Hathaway. No, my best friend is not getting married on the same day as me, but some other selfish person decided to reserve the hall the same day I did and now it’s one big mess. The difference is the hall isn’t big enough for two weddings. But that was like the one day where all my million siblings and family members and pregnant ladies finally agreed on. Not to mention everyone’s camp schedules. I don’t know about you but I am pretty sure the day is for the bride and groom and everyone else can go screw themselves. My real question though is: is there a bride out there that isn’t stressed out?

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So now after finally all agreeing on a date, we got to go through the whole process all over again and to be quite honest with you I am very close to just eloping and forgetting the whole thing. I never wanted a big wedding. Now I am starting to want one less and less everyday. But at the end of the day, as much as they say the wedding is for the bride it really is not; it’s for the mother of the bride. So while my mother is popping out her kid and my sister is popping out hers, somewhere in the midst of all that I will become a Mrs.

I told my parents to just let me know what day I am getting married. Yep, read that again, still sounds just as crazy as when I typed it out.

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As if it wasn’t enough, my Pilate’s teacher decided to quit. My one escape from life is now officially over the first week of March, and trust me that is coming up sooner than I want it to.

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Despite all the negativism, my better half seems to be handling this, or I really should say me, pretty well. He introduced me to beef jerky the other day. Yes, I know you’re probably thinking “what?! You never had beef jerky?!” Yes, I never had beef jerky. But I will tell you that I found it to be really good and what is even better: I am getting a package in the mail from my better half himself.

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And now everything seems to be that much more manageable.

Good luck with your day,

Your Editor

Is it a problem when…

he calls me mommy sometimes

Your little brother is with your mother and asks for you instead? I don’t know whether to feel overly good about myself or how bad I screwed myself over with this one or how hard it’ll be for this kid when I move out.

It will be an adjustment for the both of us I can tell you that. He’s practically my child!

I’m holding him in bed now, he’s got fever and a runny noise and half of me is like I do not want to catch whatever he has and the other half of me is feeling so horrible for him. He’s just so not himself.

The other day he heard me talking to my better half and I responded to something funny by saying “oh gosh, hunny”. The next thing I know I hear my little brother say “oh gosh, hunny” and it makes me want to just eat him up.

What a mother does for her kids.

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Once a mother always a mother. Does it count if you don’t actually give birth to them? I think so. After all there are people who cannot have kids and adopt. I suppose any person who experiences that sort of pull for their kids; to put them first, to give, to love, even when they are annoying as hell.

With all that said, I know it may sound a bit weird, but he does feel like my child. So, I am sure it is a bit of a problem when he calls  me Mommy instead of his actual mother, but he gets it right sometimes :).

 

What do you want to eat?

and the endless conversation begins…

I apologize for not posting, been a bit of a hectic weekend (when is it not?).

During this weekend I have been thinking a lot about the relationships in my life. My better half spent Valentine’s Day with me and it really was very enjoyable. However, I did screw up a tad bit. So you see, he always likes to do things that make me happy (which is a very noble thing, and romantic- especially this far into our relationship) but sometimes I don’t let him because I get nervous that he isn’t thinking about himself. Well this weekend I discovered I was wrong and that instead of making a big deal about something sweet that he wants to do for me I should say thank you and keep my mouth shut. You would think that would be simple, but for some reason I get a bit all over the place; giving him a million reasons why he shouldn’t do what it is he wants to do, when at the end of the day it is his choice!

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Another thing I learned this weekend is that couples will forever have the conversation of: where do you want to go for dinner? I wish I could say I am joking but after so many years we still contemplate (and I will admit: sometimes argue) about what we are in the mood to eat and whose job it is to try to come up with a place. For real, deciding on food is such a big deal.

I heard this thing and I attempted to try it on my better half and it was an epic fail. Basically, you’re supposed to tell your partner/spouse to guess where it is you guys are going for dinner and the first thing they guess you’re supposed to say yes too because that is probably where they want to go if they guessed it first. So when our food conversation began I was trying to see if we can, you know, decide on a place after 2 minutes and not 30. I asked him to guess where we were going and he replied: is it milk or meat? and I was like: I don’t know. He was just like “what do you mean you don’t know, you told me to guess?!”

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So you see… that didn’t really work out too well. Which was quite annoying because than we had another 30 minute conversation of where we could possibly go.

For the first time today he said he wanted Chinese, and I was like YESS!! We don’t have to have the hour food conversation!!! And then my dad calls and invites us to a BBQ…. and I’m like are you for real? No. We are going to Chinese. I will not let a guilt trip of how we missed a great BBQ get in the way of a 1.5 minute conversation of where we are going for dinner.

And let me tell you this: it was good Chinese.

Your Editor

 

Valentine’s Day

it’s more than just a date

Do you celebrate it?

There was conversation about it at work the other day; how it is a girls holiday and they don’t need to get their boyfriends/husbands anything. It made me think about lesbian relationships… does that mean one of them doesn’t get a present because they play the boyfriend/husband figure in the relationship? It also made me think how selfish that is to think that you deserve a present, for what? Wikipedia has a page on Valentine’s Day where is writes:

Valentine’s Day is recognized as a significant cultural, religious, and commercial celebration of romance in many regions around the world, although it is not a public holiday in any country.

That being said, Valentine’s Day is a day to celebrate romance. It doesn’t say who, what, where, and how, it just says romance. Therefore, if you are in a romantic relationship, you have an opportunity to celebrate it. That is a decision you make. What person wouldn’t want to celebrate it though? It is a day where you have another chance to express to your partner/spouse how you value them. That doesn’t require you to have to buy expensive gifts, just requires you to do something so that you show your partner/spouse that you appreciate them.

A friend brought up how she dislikes Valentine’s Day because if her boyfriend/husband needs a day to remind him how much he loves her then she doesn’t want to be a part of that relationship. I see where she is coming from.

I feel like everyone is writing about Valentine’s Day and for those of you that aren’t such a big fan of the day altogether, I’m sure it’s not too fun. So, I’d like to just take a minute and talk about romance. The day is after all a celebration of romance. So enough about who celebrates what and why, here’s a bit of romance.

What is romance? What people feel at the beginning of a relationship is romance: the emotions, the light-headedness, the butterflies.

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There is a sense of newness and freshness that people generally have in the beginning of a relationship. I know the day is over (I was supposed to have this post done on Valentine’s Day) but there is still time to take your spouse/partner out and show a little romance. I say romance and not love because you have love if you’re in a relationship for some time now. Do something special that brings those butterflies back.

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Don’t say you love me a million times, do something that shows your spouse/partner that you they are exciting to you, that just because you’ve been together for so many years/months you still feel like the day where your relationship started.

We don’t need a day to tell us to love someone we already love, we need a day to remind us to go back to the romance, to bring it back into our lives.

Make every day like the first and you will never look elsewhere because you have it all.

Your Editor

A man at the chocolate store

what we do for chocolate

I walked into the chocolate store at around 6 pm to find one person ahead of me in line and a million boxes of chocolate being prepared to ship. There’s about five workers preparing boxes and one helping the guy ahead of me. I think that this should be quick because there’s only one other person ahead of me so even if no one else is helping people and just packaging chocolate baskets, I shouldn’t be here too long. Listen to this guys order:

He tells the lady he wants to get something for his wife, you know for Valentine’s Day.

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“What do you guys have?” The lady behind the counter starts showing him different options to get a feel of what the guy is interested in, but he doesn’t seem to know.

“Well, we have these heart-shaped chocolate boxes,” she says. He seems to have liked them because he started inquiring about the sizes of the boxes and how many chocolates fit inside each box. I’m standing there thinking: finally. The man asks her “what percentage is your dark chocolate?” She responds: “one minute, I have to go to the back to ask”. “60%” she says when she gets back. Then he says “do you have it in dark chocolate? It can only be dark chocolate” So the lady goes back to the back to ask if they have dark chocolate, “No dark chocolate”. “Well can you make it in dark chocolate? and all the chocolates you put inside it have to be dark.” Off the lady goes to ask if they can do that. When she comes back with a yes, he starts questioning what sizes and then off she goes, again to the back. She comes back, they can do everything he wants it will just take about an hour. Finally, I think, that now it will be my turn!

But no.

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The one man ahead of me says: “Okay so let’s do the big heart box with dark chocolate and dark chocolate inside, and I also have three daughters”. Oh no. He wants something different for each of them. Now, I am thinking okay 1) why can’t someone else help me, 2) he should have started off saying he needed 4 different chocolates. But nope, he tells her he has three girls and he wants something different for each of them, and it doesn’t matter if it’s dark chocolate or not, he just wants something different. He sees a teddy bear with a heart and wants that. Now come the million questions, but of course not all at once, he has to make the lady go back to the back every time because for some reason he couldn’t just think of all the questions at once. What size? How much does it cost? Do you have it in dark or milk? (I thought it didn’t matter!). Do you have the heart teddy bear? But your website shows this? Now, what about the roses? Finally, he decides he wants the roses. However, there are no roses, off the lady goes to ask if they have roses, no but they can make, well is it dark or milk? WHY DOES IT MATTER?!

My bags are getting heavy and I am seriously tired of waiting for this guy to make up his mind.

The lady behind the counter starts showing him different options they can do with the rose and how they could attach other chocolates to it, he seems to like it, but then there are two more to go. God help me.

Finally, after back and forth (yes, she got a lot of exercise, not just her legs but her brain and vocal cords) they come to some sort of arrangement for the two daughters, so all that is left is the third. “Well,” the lady says, “we can do a small chocolate box for your daughter, it fits like three chocolates inside.” He seems to like it but the famous question about dark and milk comes back- but of course I don’t know why he said it doesn’t matter if clearly he seems so interested in what type of chocolate it will be.

Yay!! He finished his order! As the lady is walking him toward the cash register, I hear him say “…Oh! I also have a nanny, I can’t go home without anything for her.” To be quite honest with you, I probably would have left the chocolate store 30 minutes ago, because this is such a complete waste of my time, if my mother had not been the one to send me here. You see, my brother’s birthday is on Valentine’s Day, so while everyone is buying their Valentines’ chocolate, I am attempting to buy my brother a birthday present.

Because this man’s order is all over the place, the owner of the store comes out to ring him up, when she sees me waiting there she starts on my order, while the other lady fixes up something for this man’s nanny.

45 minutes later, I can now go home. If you’re one of those people who can never make up your mind, just give the lady a list of things you need and your preferences and have her fix you up something, think of what you want to ask and ask all your questions at once, you’ll be doing everyone a favor.

Your Editor

 

Just leave me alone

say what you mean

I say it often but you have to be my better half to know when I actually mean it.

Girls tend to have this attitude about them where they will say something they don’t really mean. They will repeat over and over, get angry, frustrated, and not admit what they really want in hopes that you, as the gentleman, will actually do what they are demanding you do not do.

Guys, on the other hand, are more straightforward, they say leave me alone and they actually mean it.

It is funny when you see other girls do this because you know inside you what she’s really trying to get at.

I used to be like this but then I realized these guys are not actually going to do it if you tell them not to. So I became as straightforward as them. At first a couple of guys looked twice because you don’t usually find a girl who acts like a guy. Now, it is more like, do you actually mean that? It is like the females are such a stereotype (which I can understand) that it would be easier not to actually admit what you want and do what girls do so that you can actually get what you want. I know, twisted.

It helps to be in a relationship where the guy knows you (even more helpful when he knows you better than yourself) because this way when you say something, whether you’re acting like a girl and not really meaning what you’re saying or if you actually mean it, he will know and act accordingly.

You know what I dislike though? Because we are girls and we do this whole drama show to get what we want when we specifically say we don’t want it, we also do this thing where we won’t admit to something bothering us. Even if it has nothing to do with an argument, fight, or conversation. The fact that he could have woken up this morning and didn’t make you a coffee before he left to work, even though he had no reason in the world to because you didn’t say or imply anything, but just because you had a thought that you never expressed to him and then he didn’t do it could cause you to be annoyed at him is absolutely absurd. Then when he comes home later that day and you’re harping on something and he’s racking his brain for misunderstandings or something he did to cause you to be like this and he can’t come up with anything and you’re just repeatedly saying “it’s nothing, it’s nothing,” but it obviously must be something if it has you so annoyed. Why on earth can’t you just break out of this girl trend and just express it. Say what you hoped he had done but didn’t because not saying it will only cause it to happen again. Men want their girls happy, so if they know something bothers them or they want something good men, will do it. But the key word here is: know. They aren’t mind readers.

Quit playing the game girls are known for so that maybe for once men will actually take us seriously when we say something the first time.

Your Editor

Flowers

Know what your kids need to hear

It took me a long time to get over flower and beach pictures. Why? because every single doctors office has flowers hanging on the walls. I hate looking at something so calm when I am freaking out inside. Pictures of the beach make me cringe. I was about 10 years old I think when I had my first physical at the doctor’s office. My Mother sat in the room playing with her baby as if completely oblivious to what was going on, and I went completely still as the Doctor stuck her hand in my underwear.  I will never not be grossed out of hearing “relax, close your eyes, think of the beach and the waves.” I will never picture the beach again. I was really angry at my mother for letting the doctor do that. It freaked me out. She gave me no warning whatsoever about what she was about to do! Like, hello?! Tell me you’re about to look at my vagina! After that appointment I remember the drive home where my mother said, “you can’t be so uptight around your doctor.” I didn’t respond, I was still very much freaked out how she could just sit there bouncing her kid on her lap and making him laugh as this Doctor checked me.

Obviously, this is just a normal thing, everyone gets a physical, but they also know they are getting a physical. They don’t just feel so violated like that.

I found it funny how now when I go to the doctor’s office I am so open, I strip before they even tell me I need to. I totally do not care. I find myself staring at the flower picture and trying not to get aggravated at them. I noticed that my blog posts pictures are filled with pictures of flowers. I guess it just reminds me of how everything can look so pretty and yet be a huge mess and no one would be the wiser.

It’s weird. It’s uncomfortable. Don’t put your kids through it.

But that wasn’t the point I was trying to make. What I am trying to say is that just like I can’t be so uptight with my doctor, you can’t be so uptight with your kids. There was a picture going around of Kim Kardashian topless and the photographer of the photo was her 4-year-old daughter. Some people can take that to mean Kim was trying to teach her daughter confidence (I find it completely weird, but maybe that is just because I didn’t grow up like that). There are always people you know that have that relationship with their mother/sister where they pee together, see each other naked. I am not talking about that end of the spectrum, I am simple talking about communicating with your daughter about her body. Not making her feel weird about it. Puberty age is challenging for everyone, it is awkward, don’t make it any more awkward than it needs to be. Don’t ignore what needs to be done. Don’t push-off those conversations. Being able to talk about those things with your mother will actually make the situation easier.

You’re probably thinking: obviously. But if it really was so obvious then why are kids still turning to the Internet, their friends, guys? It can really mess your kids up.

Your Editor