learn to balance your need for protecting your child with their ability to grow into adults

I don’t know what it is about some parents but at some point they need to learn to cut the cord. You would think that once was a sign at childbirth but no. Maybe I don’t get it because I am not a parent but seriously?!

I get that you want to protect your kids and never want them to get harmed or lose their innocence, but sometimes, keeping them tied to your hip is more harmful than not.

Take a married child for example: they should not be at their parents home more than their own home. It affects their relationship with their spouse.

Some men are ‘mama’s boys’ and they are always crawling back home. This becomes a challenge for their partner/spouse because where do they fit in? I know someone who turns to their parents before their spouse. They view their spouse as…. nothing, to be honest with you I don’t even know how they got married. The spouse has no credibility, they both don’t listen to each other, and they barely spend time together. You may think I am talking about someone who has been married for 10 maybe 15 years…

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They have been married for almost two years. It wasn’t like they spent time dating either or knew each other for five years before they got married. Sadly, it looks like it. Now, I can’t say it’s all their fault, the in-laws aren’t much help either. Once your child is married you don’t get involved in the decisions they make as a couple. If they ask for advice, you can give them your opinion, but that is it!

I may look back on this post when I have my own kids one day and laugh at how crazy I sounded but I really do believe, right now that is, that there is only so much, and so long, that you can control your children.

On the flip side, the younger generations are of a different breed and they are primarily focused on their over-inflated egos, so if their parents are from a bit back, raising them and controlling them becomes a challenge.

Every kid needs a different level of control in order to help them grow into responsible adults. You can’t simply decide that because you can’t control what your child wants, and all they think about is themselves that you will just leave them alone to fend for themselves. No. Put your foot down, make them pay for their car, gas, and other desires that you do not agree with them having. Until they can meet you halfway, meaning say you have certain expectations of your child (which all parents should have because that is what will force your child to think outside their four feet) and your child has not met any of them, and I’m not talking about those parents who expect their child to do everything that when they were a kid, were unable to, I am talking about expecting your child to do their homework, help out in the house, wake up at a reasonable time etc., if your child can not do the bare minimum of your expectations, then don’t meet the bare minimum of their expectations. Depending on what home environment you come from or are building, their expectations will be different. If you have money, the child may expect that they are entitled to certain things, taking away those things will make them stop with the me, me, me, and actually think further than that moment of instant pleasure.

It is sad because it will take these kids late into their life, when possibly their parents are no longer around, to realize “wow, this attitude on life is completely self-absorbed and foolish.”

It is never too late, however, the time wasted can never be brought back. Control each kid the way they need it, in order to make them the best person they can be, not because you can’t bear to see your little baby grow up, you’re ruining them more than building them.

Your Editor

A bit more happiness

just look in the mirror 🙂

Everyone wants to be happy. If there was a happiness pill out there, everyone would spend however much it cost in order to get some. People want to be happy. Some people believe having all the money in the world would make them happy.

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But then when you have all the money in the world and you’re not happy, you get angry because you have wasted so much of your life working to reach this point of ultimate happiness and now that you got there, you’re like where is that happiness?

Most people think they will become happy when they have something they want. For example: I’ll be happy when I am in a relationship or I’ll be happy when I build my dream home. To everyone there is a different reason of why they are not happy. That is why there is no happiness pill out there; what could make you happy, can make me miserable, and what can make me happy, can make you miserable.

So what will make you happy? Absolutely nothing that is physical. Remember that next time you tell someone who you will be happy only if xyz happens. Now, don’t get me wrong you may be happy when you get that car, girl, guy, kiss, house, whatever it is you dream of, but that is not real happiness. That is not happiness that will last when whatever physical thing you got is not around anymore. So, if nothing physical can fill this happiness void, what can?

That is a question you must ask yourself.

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If it has a this, you, that, or a product in front of “makes me happy,” it is not real happiness. Food doesn’t make you happy, it makes you feel full and good inside, so you equate it to happiness because you are content and maybe not hangry anymore. A person should not be the key to your happiness, only you possess the key to make yourself happy.

As Eddie Two Hawks quotes in his blog post: “take responsibility of your own happiness, never put it in other people’s hands,” nor in the hands of other things.

If only you possess the key to your happiness then you must start looking within yourself in order to be happy. Look at what you have not what you don’t have. Look at who you are not what you are not and make yourself happy. Write down everything about you, the good, the bad, what you do and do not have, everything. Then separate the good and the bad, don’t be hard on yourself, don’t be humble, be honest; if you’re a talented author, write it down. Take notice of all the qualities you have, the things you have, and realize how blessed you are. Just take a moment and be grateful because there can be so many other things in your life that are much harder than what you are dealing with. Become comfortable with who and what you are, the baggage that comes with you but also, the gifts that make you, you.

You’ll see, you will suddenly be much happier.

Your Editor


Excitement is in the air

the key is staying happy

You know when something new is happening everyone is so excited? Like, it’s fun planning a wedding (or should be at least), the engagement party, the proposal.

My better half was talking with some of his friends last night and the conversation was about what he will do after the excitement of marriage dies down. Now, can I just say something? Why does the excitement have to ever die down? I was reading a book the other day and it brought up something I found gave me mixed emotions: the priest was telling one of the participants of a divorce support group how he finds it ironic how when he gives marriage classes and everyone is falling asleep but in his divorce classes, everyone is taking notes. I know people don’t get married thinking about getting divorced. Actually, I take that back, now a days people get married while planning their divorce. There are people out there that have hidden bank accounts just waiting for the day they get divorced. But why can’t people just put their all into their marriage. Instead they are splitting themself either in half or 30/70 or some other percentage and not giving their undivided attention to building and being a part of a relationship. It takes a lot of work, effort, time, commitment to have a successful relationship so if you’re so busy splitting your attention between your relationship and the end of your relationship, it will never last.

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It’s so pathetic.

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(side note: if you have not watched The Good Wife, you are missing out on an unbelievably, genius TV show- the character in the gif above is one of the actors)

Overhearing my better half’s conversation got me thinking about all of this and also the reason why I started this blog in the first place. The name is Forever Day One for a reason; I want the rest of my life to be as exciting as the first day I started anything I was looking forward too. There is no reason in the world why every morning I shouldn’t wake up with the same enjoyment. I get it, life gets hectic, it’s hard out there. But at the end of the day we are all going through life anyway, why on earth won’t we just make the most out of it?

The answer may be because that would require us to be constantly focusing on the positive. Now, I am not perfect and I have my mean, bitchy days but at the end of it, or throughout the day if I did not try to bring whatever it is I screwed up around back to the happy place it was before, then I have failed to live that day as a gift. We all feel so blessed when we encounter things we don’t generally deserve or things we have worked up to in our life but then we get sick of it. We become that four-year old boy who has been begging his parents for a new truck, finally get it, plays with it for a week, maybe a month, and then forgets about it. Marriage is not like that. You can’t just marry someone, have fun with them, get used to them, and then three months later find a new toy to play with. You have to find ways to make yourself the ‘toy’ no one wants to ever stop playing with.

Which is hard to do. There is always someone who will be more attractive, successful, motivated, wealthier, than you. But as long as you remember why you started out with someone, other people in the world won’t matter. Don’t focus on who is out there, focus on what is in you, how far can you go? If you concentrate on that, I will tell you that you won’t be faced with what will life be like after the excitement of marriage dies down, rather you will be confronted with what excitement will today bring that wasn’t here yesterday? 

It is more than just living every day to the fullest. Like I wrote in My Dream, asking yourself how hard you worked today and not going to sleep until you’ve done all that you can, can be applied to this; how much effort did you put into your relationship today so that it can feel like it felt the first day you met your partner/spouse?

All it takes it the desire to make life beautiful and when any relationship starts out, all they should be focusing on is the beauty, not the divorce papers.

Make every day better than the first day.

Your Editor

Calling in sick

stop trying to rationalize how you can do something you really don’t want to do

I have come to realize that I am one of those types of people who cringe from saying no or telling people I can’t do something that I either am supposed to or should be doing. For example, I have a doctor’s appointment coming up and I didn’t tell my boss yet because I am already taking off for something else… but the appointment is still on and I just need to just tell her already. It’s not like she is mean about how much I take off (she may be annoying for other reasons 🙂 ) but I still dislike having to tell her. My stomach gets all pins and needles type and it really is uncomfortable.

The funny thing is I have no problem telling people in my family no. Maybe that is just because I am comfortable with them but up until now I have never really considered myself to be one of those people who are afraid to say no.

My better half is the complete opposite though and to me, it feels like sometimes he says no way too quickly. But that is all a matter of perspective.

Yes, I will tell her I can’t come in on that day because I have no idea how long the appointment will be and if it will take most of the morning then I might as well make another appointment for the afternoon and get it out-of-the-way. My problem is though, since I do not know how long the appointment will take I am not sure how to schedule the other appointment that I need to schedule, which makes me unsure of whether I should tell my boss I am missing the whole day or only half of it. I could just be finding reasons to push-off asking her… I am not sure which feeling is stronger, more like I don’t want to have to decide which is stronger. I really do not want to be that person that doesn’t ever say no.

I emailed her right before I left work that I will be taking that day off as well. I ran out of work before she could message me… maybe I am one of those people who never say no.

My mother is and it makes it a thousand times harder for all of us at home. Someone asked on one of the group chats if we could host some people and I was actually shocked when my mother responded that she couldn’t. I wonder what made her finally say no. Maybe because she realized she is nine months pregnant and there already 5 guest in our home and where would she put five more?

All I know is that I better start learning how to stand up for myself with others not just those I am comfortable with so that when I have a family of my own I can put them before others.

Your Editor



My dream

follow what makes you happiest, you only live once

There is a short list of things I absolutely love to do and they are: bake, cook, write, puzzles, and read. Let’s start from the bottom first:

Reading: my whole high school I spent in the back of a classroom reading a different book every couple of days. My grandmother is the type of person that had a bottomless library and whenever I went over, I stashed a bunch for the week. It was a bit tricky though because my parents didn’t approve of what I read so I would have to hide them. That usually meant sneaking them into the bathroom and staying in there for hours trying to finish the book or waiting until I heard my sister fast asleep and taking out a flashlight to read under my blanket. I read so many books, some of my favorites are:

  • Beyond Eden by Catherine Coulter
  • Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand
  • The Fountainhead by Ayn Rand
  • Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen
  • The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo by Stieg Larsson (the whole series)

I also read most of the Star Wars books, though I am not one of those extreme fans. I am not usually obsessed with books like those are with Star Wars, Harry Potter, and all the other big series. It is funny because my younger siblings are all reading the books I read when I was their age and it brings back many memories. There was also another series that I oddly enjoyed: Artemis Fowl by Eoin Colfer. A lot of the books I don’t remember by name anymore, I only remember when I see the front cover. The more I spend time writing this, the more books are coming back into my mind 🙂 .

So why did I stop reading? I got a lot of books taken away, a lot of arguments with my parents about how I am too young to be reading this or that, and just because I ran out of time, plus, I felt like I read everything. Now a days I pick up a book and it’s like reading a porn script. I just want a good book not something so obvious how everything will end. However, I plan to start subscribing to: Crate of Joy, (creds to my Pilate’s teacher for telling me about this!). Also, there’s just no time to read now 😦 it makes me really sad to admit that but it is true. I need to make time though… in between all that studying.

Puzzles: yes, I am one of those. Give me a puzzle, any puzzle, and I will be happy for hours. The problem was that every time I started a 1000 piece puzzle or 2000 piece puzzle no matter how I hide the puzzle, locked my door, bought the puzzle contraption thing to keep my puzzle all together, one of the kids would get to it and I would come home to all my puzzle pieces scattered all over the house. No matter if I counted all the pieces and finally was able to start all over again, the next day somehow the puzzle pieces would be scattered all over the house yet again. After not being able to finish so many puzzles and having to throw them out because I just can’t find the last piece; I have given up on puzzles for the time being but they are still part of my happy place.

Write: I wrote a book when I was in high school (one of the other things I did in class when I couldn’t pull off reading a book in front of the teacher). I didn’t publish it…. yet. A lot of kids would read it in class and they all loved it. To be honest with you, I loved and hated writing it. It’s easier to write when life is upside down and everything seems so black. It is a lot harder to write when you’re on stable ground, the words don’t flow as fast or as smooth and everything sounds ten times better when it is coming from a place of deep emotion. I used to write poems of some sorts but those are in the trash or at the bottom of the ocean. My better half is the one that pushed me to blog. I mentioned it and he ran with it. He knows what I need to be happy 🙂 .

Cooking & Baking: I LOVE the kitchen. Love is an understatement it is just the one place that no matter what I am feeling can make me feel better. I stress bake a lot. Once I made 6 batches of chocolate chip cookies and 2 batches of brownie bars in one night. It just makes me happy. I love it. I am happy just thinking about it.

So what is my dream…?

I want to go to culinary school. I want to learn to cook better. Baking comes, thank God, naturally, but cooking is a bit tougher for me and I want to try it until I am as good as I am at baking. I am not THAT amazing at baking but I would consider myself pretty okay for someone who has had no teaching or time to invest in teaching myself. I wish I can just pause life and just spend time traveling the world and learning the foods of different countries and how to make all the flavors go together to create magic in your mouth when you take a bite. I wish I can open up a little bakery where I just work myself and create and put things together that make people happy. I feel so satisfied taking things out of the oven and watching people enjoy eating something I made.

I won’t give up, even if I have to start at the bottom and spend time doing things I don’t enjoy as much so that I can save up money to do what I love, I will do it. Who knows, maybe I will still be blogging and maybe you’ll all hear all about it.

I heard a speech once about this Disney animator who described his story of how he got to work for Disney, which was his dream. He had a dream, he knew what he wanted, and that is the first place everyone needs to start. Find something you just can’t live without, something that starts a fire within you and do something about it. Unlike all those people out there, myself included, that have a dream, passion, and do nothing about it. Take your dream and you have the equal sign to your equation. Simply find what things you will need to add up together to make your dream come true. This man knew he had to apply to 4 top colleges in order to even be considered by Disney so his equation began: one of the 4 colleges= Disney animator. When he got to that college he realized that in order to get his dream he would need an internship at Disney, so his equation expanded: one of the 4 colleges + internship at Disney = Disney animator. As the years went on he focused on his solution, adding anything that he encountered that could possibly help him reach the end of his equation. Sure enough, he did it. He now works as a Disney animator and worked on a lot of the classical movies, as well as more current ones. But more importantly, he followed his dream. He left us with two things: 1. no dream is impossible so don’t ever think yours is 2. he made us all write down on a piece of paper this quote: “nobody worked harder today than me.”

What does it mean? It means you can go to sleep knowing you did everything in your power today to get you one step closer to fulfilling your dream, and if you can’t say that to yourself every night before you go to bed then don’t go to bed until you can.

Your Editor


A meaningful present

put some time in rather than dimes

So after a very long day yesterday, I was greeted by a BIG package from my future mother-in-law.

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What was special about it though, was that it wasn’t just a store-bought gift basket filled with the usual chocolate, nuts, wine, candy, it was actually all hand-picked and she wrapped it herself. Mind you, she was a professional gift wrapper before so she has the creativity. Inside the package was all my favorite things and a really, really, sweet poem (yes, she is a professional writer too, so yes, that does make my fiance have very good genes 🙂 ).

It made me really appreciate having a nice mother-in-law because gosh if I tell you how many mother-in-law horror stories I have heard…. One joke though, because once you start you can never stop: What happens when you miss your mother-in-law?

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….Reload and shoot again

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But thank God, I will hopefully never be in that situation.

The present also got me thinking about a previous conversation I had with a bunch of teenagers that were in relationships. It was around Valentine’s day and they were all asking each other what they are getting their boyfriend/girlfriend to try to help them come up with ideas. The list went from watches to ties, wallets, cufflinks, designer things, and I am just like sheesh, if I did that for every Valentine’s present I’d be poor! When they finally asked me for my opinion, I was just like, what ever happened to a handmade card? or a sentimental thing that you both shared? Why do you have to spend SO much money to show the person you love them? To be honest with you, the present would mean a thousand times more if you actually took the time to do something creative and not just bought the most expensive thing. One girl told me how she doesn’t know what to get him because she already bought him a really nice watch and a wallet and she spent so much money. My thoughts at that moment where: 1. you screwed yourself over because now you’re going to always feel like he is expecting something more expensive than whatever it is you gave him last and 2. there are so many more presents than just a watch and a wallet.

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Now, maybe it is because I have been in a relationship for a long time but can I just give you all some advice? Spending time on a present for a person you care about makes you care about them more and they enjoy the present more! Just be a little creative! The cost of the present and the level of happiness it will give them are not equivalent.

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So instead of making a visible hole in your wallet, make some time in your day, heart, life, and do something creative! Guess what? if you can’t think of anything you obviously have not met Pinterest.

Your Editor

Why can’t you just see

for your own sake… please

I absolutely hate being in this position. I hate it. You know when you see someone doing something so stupid and you just want to slap their head into a wall because then maybe they will wake up and smell the coffee?! And realize what a total idiot they have been and how badly they are screwing up their life?

I can’t help but care about people. I genuinely care and want the best for people. It drives me up the wall when people CAN’T JUST OPEN THEIR EYES!!! It really isn’t so hard!!

I know, I know, easier to say then to actually do but come on!

Sorry, let me tell you what caused me to be like this:

Someone I know is in a very unhealthy relationship. She knows it but yet somehow keeps finding herself going back to him (duh, what can you expect?) but it is just so painful to watch her get hurt physically, emotionally, mentally. I know you’re probably thinking this happens to about half the population and who cares but I guess when it hits so close to home and it someone you don’t want to see in pain, it makes it a thousand times harder.

I hated going through what I went through. I wish someone would have slapped my head hard against the wall and made me realize that I am hurting myself in every form of way. I wish. I know she’s appreciative and she says I am right and she knows it’s not a good idea but she’s still going back. It kills me inside.

I wish I could do something more. I wish I can make things easier for her. I wish she would just care more about herself and realize what he is doing to her and that she deserves more than this in her life. I really wish.


As another friend of mine said: sometimes you just have to let people live their life and learn from their own mistakes.

However, some people never learn, and for all we know she could end up killing herself one day from all the pain and misery this bastard is putting her through and then what?! I can tell you that when you’re in such a fragile position you do things you would have never imagined yourself doing, you become this person that is so not you, and if you ever wake up and smell the coffee you realize what has become of you and you may not have the proper surroundings to fix yourself up. I told her she has three choices: wait for something horrible to happen and then she’ll realize that when he says he’s going to change for the fiftieth time it won’t actually happen, or she can listen to me and take my life experiences and just save herself from having to go through this horrible life any longer, or she can do absolutely nothing and stay where she is burying herself deeper into a grave that she doesn’t realize he is digging for her. Now, I can’t understand why in any way she would want to choose anything but making herself a happy person but I know more than she knows that she’s not really in control. You’re never really in control. Take an addict for example, yes they can be sober for ten years but give them a drink and that’s it. You will never be in control- fully, that is. Yes, you will have some level of control over your life but their will be days where you find yourself crawling back into that grave he built for you and you won’t even realize it. That is why you have to always be on your toes and never let yourself, even for a split second, go down that path in your brain. It is just not a place to ever go once you have finally rid yourself of such an unhealthy relationship.

I legit went through her phone to block him and you know, in my days it was so much easier to block someone because you only had one thing to block them off of! I had to unfriend him on FaceBook, block him on Instagram, Snapchat, Whatsapp, some messenger app, that I was like, seriously? I can understand why you haven’t blocked him yet. Sheesh, just going through the whole process can kill you.

But at the end of the day I only hope that she won’t hurt herself and if she ever needs I will always be there for her. I let her know I am not disappointed in her, I understand her, and it is her decision but most importantly, I am there if and when she ever needs. If she won’t take my advice it is the least I can do. I know if I had someone with me when I went through it maybe I wouldn’t have gone as far as I did and maybe things would be different.

I won’t apologize for caring, and I won’t apologize for trying to convince you out of it, I’ll just apologize for not being there when it started and getting you far, far, away before you even began.

Your Editor