The Cafe Lady

who would have thought

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Well what do you know, people sitting next to you really do get a kick out of your telephone conversations! Before I tell you the story I want to tell you another story. I was on the bus the other day and the girl sitting next to me, must have been around 16-19 years old, was writing out a text message of some form. Curious as I was and with nowhere else to look, I casually looked down and a little to the side and had a great view of everything she was typing. “I am supposed to sit at home and wait for my father to pass out then call the police,”… “The deposition just is a bunch of lawyers saying things I can never understand,” my heart broke. Who knows where this girl was headed to, what she had to deal with but just sitting beside her made me want to reach out and comfort her. As young as she was, dealing with who knows what, makes you realize sitting beside people from all ends of the earth is… there is just no words for it.

Today, I had a couple of words of my own, and so did she. We were sitting at a lovely cafe, kids playing, beautiful atmosphere, one of those places that just make you happy. There was a skinny, short curly-haired lady sitting directly across from us. From when we got there till she left we did not have any interaction except one. She mumbled something to herself, picked up the phone, and boy, what a mouth she had! Every other word was a curse word. “I’m Hungry and I can’t F****** leave here because then I will be expected to clean and cook for a F****** grown adult. I can’t handle this it’s breaking my F****** balls. I just want to go home and sit with my S**** and my own food and not have to listen to this F****** shrieking anymore.” It went on for a bit longer than that. My Husband and I took one look at each other, raised our eyebrows, and were very happy when she hung up, though it was quite amusing. She was overheating, most likely because she was hangry, but boy did she want to go home. Five minutes after her cursing fiasco, she gives me a smile and in the nicest voice ever, as if we did not hear her whole list of profanities, asks me to unplug her computer charger. This brought to mind the idea of how a person can treat a total stranger with the utmost respect and a person they actually know with complete and utter disgust.

It is like we have this idea in our mind that we need to be nice to those we do not know and being mean to those we do, is normal. Well, it should not be. Why should we care about what a total stranger thinks of us? They most likely will never see us again. It is a scary thought because you can be so angry at someone you know and the minute you bump into someone not as known a mask falls over your face and you are this brand new human that hasn’t a care in the world. This lady was angry. She was pissed. She was hungry, why couldn’t she express any of that in her tone when she turned to me? Just because one doesn’t know someone doesn’t mean that one cannot express an emotion that is strong. It is like we are all expected to be perfect and because of that everyone has a fear of what people will say and think, so they are quick to hide any sign of imperfection. If only we could have that feeling with the people we are most comfortable with, the world would be a whole lot better of a place. 

Plenty people are divorcing, separating, breaking-up, losing friends and family relationships all because they are too comfortable and forget that those closest to them still deserve respect. It is challenging because when you spend day in and day out with people you grow accustomed to being around them and forget that they still deserve a thank you and just because you are upset about your day doesn’t mean they deserve the lashing for it. It takes a person to constantly work on themselves to continue to make sure their relationships stay new and fresh. If you think back to the first time you met the person you are in a relationship with, most of the time it was a positive scenario and stayed positive until one person in the relationship got too comfortable and stopped thinking about the other person and instead only about themselves. It happens to everyone but being aware of it, makes you one less person part of the ‘people pleasing population.’

Your Editor

Give me a ring

say what?

When I was in high school I had a corny geography teacher. I say corny because he would make corny jokes all the time. For example, when he met his future wife for the first time he knew it was her and told her he’d give her a ring, she got so scared and he responded “you know, a ring, ring, from the telephone?”

It’s kind of weird how everything happens around the same time. My co-worker was telling me how one of her friends got engaged to this rich guy and she practically designed the whole ring by herself. I have met people who do that, they know exactly what they want and they let their significant other know. However, I am not like that. It is very hard for me to decide what I like. You see, I don’t have the greatest taste (well at least that is what everyone says, I am told I have old lady taste… I guess that means when I am older I will actually be in style;) ), so when it comes down to deciding if that dress looks good or the makeup is too much I tend to second guess myself.

My better half originally told me he wanted me to have nothing to do with the ring and he would design and find something himself and I was SO relieved. It becomes so complicating when you look at rings and then you find something you like and you think that is what you’re getting and then you’re handed your ring and it is something completely different and all your hopes go crashing down… So you see I did not want to feel that way, so I was totally fine with having him decide what, when, where, and how. Turns out though he is a little too nervous that I won’t be happy with something he chooses. The truth is I will be happy with whatever he decides because 1. I have no expectations 2. he will have chosen it all by himself and I find that romantic.

Some people have that type of relationship where they tell the person what type of ring they want and others have one where they don’t. I think it says a lot about the relationship you are in. It shows if there are expectations and the way each partner deals with their expectations not being met. It’s a tricky field to be in and all I will say is that I will love that ring even if it is the last idea on this earth of what I had ever imagined simply because it’s a symbol for everything our relationship stands for.

Your Editor

Let me give you a little perspective

Work.

My department got shifted up to the third floor to join the general pop. We aren’t smack in the middle, we still have a more secluded area. However, our room is the only entrance to the conference room. Let me tell you that in the 24 hours that we’ve been there, there hasn’t been many pretty conversations. Yes, we hear everything. It is really awkward because when the employee comes out they have to go through a little sort of ‘walk of shame’ till they can leave our area, yep… pretty awkward!

With today’s society, no one wants to think anymore. Everyone wants to scroll, click, zoom, like, anything not to have to do anything, including think. It makes going to work and being a part of work so much harder. If you think about it most of your parents growing up didn’t even have cell phones. I know, strange to think about it being that cell phones are legit part of every second of our day-to-day lives. But yes, there was a time were no cell phones were seen in human’s hands or glued to their faces. I must say, yes life had its difficulties back then but having a conversation with someone and being at work were much easier things to do. No one can control the rapid progress of technology and I am not saying we should try, what I am saying is that people are forgetting what matters in life.

You know why a lot of employees are being yelled at? because their quality of work is just an embarrassment. We all have our phones on us during work hours, we all say we’re giving work 100% of our attention but we have bluetooth, wireless, headphones blasting our favorite TV show, where did the 100% work go?

We need our jobs to live. Our phones are not going to be the ones paying the bill or feeding our never-ending needs, and in the society of I want and I need it can be a big issue.

You don’t want to get yelled at by your supervisor? You want to actually get that raise you have been saying you deserve? Well then it’s simple: prove it.

Put the god damn phone down. Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, can all wait. Trust me they aren’t going anywhere (and that also means Pinterest). If you seriously can’t control yourself then shut off your notifications. Once you start actually giving your all to your job you’ll realize:

  1. it takes half the time or less than you always take to complete a task
  2. you’ll feel like your eyes can breath because they haven’t been jumping from this screen to that
  3. you’ll feel more accomplished
  4. you’ll be acknowledged at work for doing a good job
  5. and you will probably be a happier person because you have finally decided to cut down stalking other people’s lives and started enjoying your own

This post isn’t meant to tell you to cut down on your social media, rather to stop doing something with half an ear and half an eye. Pay attention, give your fullest to whatever it is you’re doing in life; work, family, school. You’ll realize how valuable your time is and how foolish you have been wasting away precious time, and all for another level of Candy Crush.

I won’t lie, I listen to a morning show while I work and sometimes I watch a TV show, but this week I took it upon myself to stop and now I have so much free time at work and during that free time I watch or do whatever I want because my work allows me. But you see, I am not doing those things anymore while I work, I gave my full attention to my work and as a result I am rewarded with extra time, with no mistakes in my work.

A happy boss, a happier employee.

Try it, I dare you 🙂

Your Editor