You just have to do what is best for yourself
Doctors, doctors, and more doctors. I don’t think in all my life I’ve been to so many doctors. Even when I kept collapsing and no one knew why. I am sick yet again. Don’t ask with what or how on earth but I am. And I am failing to remain positive. For that past five months I have been sick 20 out of the 30 days there are in a month. Why? I don’t know. But by now I know That I am allergic to half the antibiotics I have been put on, the strep shot kills. Like hell. Going in it was fine but the after effect had me on the floor, passed out.
Apparently when one has fever you are not supposed to cover them up in blankets to keep them warm because the heat gets trapped around them and causes the fever to stay up. I have gone from freezing to physically sweating in a matter of minutes. And this isn’t even a bad thing, I feel physically pained for those people sick with big diseases. I don’t know how they manage to get up, stay positive, and face another day. I’m being dramatic, I have my moments. But sometimes- when people around me are giving me a hard time- I can’t handle anything and everything is worse off than it is.
It’s pouring here and I just want to go outside and get soaked, sit under the beat of the rain and have my illnesses get washed away.
I’m cancelling my exam, the one I fought so hard to get. I can’t manage it between surgery and not feeling well. My study time is being slept away because I have no energy to get through the material I need to cover. It pains me. But my health comes first. I am not going to try and fight it any more. I possibly could have done it if my family would have respected my study time, and not continuously gave me the role of mother.
Something positive though, because life should never be so negative, my better half has gone above and beyond to make me happy, comfortable, and make sure I am putting myself first. It’s awfully romantic.
I guess that’s just how I have to look at all of this: some good, some bad, and make the good weigh more because it should.
To health 🍾
Well… maybe add a few more seconds, so three minutes and a little bit. BUT trust me (if you want to) it is worth it!!
So maybe it’s not an incurable cancer, four tumors, and two heart attacks and maybe it’s a surgery, wisdoms teeth, five root canals, and a cast, it doesn’t matter. It matters if you make it matter. If you have the option, which you do, to make something matter than decide to make what actually matters, matter. Make your positive perspective matter. Make your decision to smile, do something for someone less fortunate than you, or even just put on some lipstick and make yourself feel good. It takes little to make us feel a bit more positive, go the extra two steps and make that change.
I feel like I have discussed perspectives in other posts and I think sometimes I make it sound so simple. The truth is: it’s a challenge. It takes a lot of energy to get up when you really don’t want to. However, the boy in the video was able to do it because he had one thing that was crucial: a good support system. We may not all be as lucky to have a good relationship with a mother, father, sibling, but hopefully everyone has that one person in their life they know they can turn to.
If you don’t, it may be a good time to work on finding that person. If you can’t seem to find them, maybe you’re searching too far and they are really in front of your eyes. Maybe you just need to work to build the relationships you have already. That is for you to figure out.
Be honest and true with yourself because it may one day save your life.
Depending who you ask I suppose
It’s funny how life surprises you sometimes. I feel like we’re all living some sort of reality show and each of us (or I should say some of us) are living off each other.
I don’t know what to make of all the mixed emotions and craziness combined with all the positive events, it has just turned into a cat playing with a ball of yarn: I have no clue where the cat is (and that’s me, if none of you guys got that).
I think that is why I like dry, bitter, comedy. Everyone’s life is crazy but they some how make it into a humorous event. I find myself telling over my “reality show” to people in a very similar way.
I don’t want my blog post to be negative so I turn that negativity into humor. I am sure there is a psychological word for it or something.
So here’s an episode of today’s events:
I am laying on the doctors bed or whatever you call those things with my bra off and my sister FaceTimes in, of course my mother is there and answers because why not let my sister and brother in law see my topless? I then listen to then small talk on VERY high volume that I am almost sure everyone in the doctors office heard them. Mind you, the conversation went something like this: how are you? Good, how are you? Where are you? At the Doctor with you sister (camera turns towards me- I completely ignore) what did the doctor say? We didn’t see him yet. Oh, okay, what else? Nothing (shrug of a shoulder) did you take a nap? you’re going to be tired tonight. (Mind you she’s married for a few years now) Nah, I don’t have time to. Okay, well the doctors here so we’ll talk later. Okay, bye.
Now what exactly was the point of that conversation? Anyway, doctor comes in and I am touched with very cold hands. I don’t get it, can’t doctors like warm their hands before they touch your bare skin? Its freezing enough in the office as it is! He then proceeds to tell me an analogy of how my surgery will go: “well you see, it’s like taking a pie of pizza and we’ll just cut off a really small slice and close the pizza back together”…. and there goes pizza for me.
However, don’t you worry because it will only be a slightly deformed pie of pizza.
I am now wondering the psychology behind comparing my nipple to pizza.