Words to live by

your attitude comes first

Hey all 🙂

I finally have a few minutes and I wanted to jot down some thoughts and feelings.

First: when there’s a new person at work: pity them. They legit don’t know how to do anything. It takes some people more time than others to get things right. Also, cut the person who is training them some slack because it is not easy!

Second: for the second time in my whole life I actually felt what it is like to have a normal birthday. You see it is the simple things and that’s all it it takes for one to feel special. For example, a cake, a nice card, or even just remembering. I can’t tell you how many birthdays went by where I simply waiting for someone to remember, there’s just too many! Now, I know some families celebrate and some families don’t. Mine happens to be the one where we celebrate for half of them. But you see it’s not equally half… just not so much mine. I don’t know why or how it came to be this way but unfortunately it is. So my advice to you is even if you’re not the richest, don’t have the time, and are not in the mood it really doesn’t take a long time to make someone feel special. It’s not hard also. No need for big parties or wild presents, simple is special too so long as it is meaningful.

Third: ignorance is bliss. Many people say that and many people are still not blissful. I’d like to take that phrase and twist it a bit to mean that ignoring something that bothers you can give you happiness. Now, this obviously applies in many areas. However, I want you to just take note in one area: your health. That can mean a headache, nausea, cold, etc. Feeling anything less healthy than you usually feel can really drain you emotionally and physically. Many days of my life have gone by focusing on the horrible physical feelings, like the exceptionally painful headaches. Yesterday I actually chose to try and ignore my head pains. I didn’t tell anyone, I didn’t focus on it, I simply refused to give my headache any credit. 1. It made me fee better already because I wasn’t overly obsessing over my headache which usually would make it feel worse 2. I actually had a beautiful day yesterday and having a headache was just not part of it and I wasn’t going to let it get in the way. It’s hard sometimes to let it be and try and focus on other things. But trust me, it’s worth it. I heard an interesting phrase from my grandma (no, I don’t know why I am using so many phrases, must be because I cannot sleep) she used to tell her children that she put her head to rest on the bookshelf. It sounds hilarious but apparently back in her day it was some for of ‘medication,’ I put it in quotes because it’s not actually medication like somehow everything today is. The best medicine for any human being is all in the mind. Everyone knows it yet somehow everyone rather drug them self silly and destroy their organs than actually put their brain to work. Anyhow, back to grandma. She used to suffer from severe migraines and could simply not handle it anymore. Part of the way she got over it was by mentally shutting her brain off and figuratively putting her head on the shelf. Now, I am not doctor and this is all my not so humble opinion but let me just tell you that ignorance in this department is truly a blessing.

And last but not least: have a blessed day 🙂

Which reminds me of how my hair stylist answers the question how are you, simply saying “I am blessed”. Now that attitude can take you far 🙂

Your Editor

Twisted

balance your giving and taking, it’ll make your life a happier place

Life is full of unexpected events.

Today was a good day but it was twisted. I was happy but sad. Enjoying myself but knew deep down I was suffering. It was twisted. I didn’t enjoy it very much but yet there were some moments I thought were precious: that FaceTime call, baking cookies with my little cousin, playing with my little sister, and feeling proud about my fruit tart :).

So why was it so twisted? Let me just tell you this: the world is filled with givers and takers, you can be either or, but very few people are both. When you are surrounded my takers your life can either feel completely empty or somewhat full. Meaning: if I give because I know you will appreciate that I am giving, my life becomes a somewhat full life but if I am giving knowing your taking will never end, my life has just become completely empty.  I give. Unconditionally, except when I am being used dry and then I just cannot take it anymore. You can’t blame me, I am tired of being used. But some people just don’t know their boundaries, you give and they want more, and more, and more, and oh did I mention that they want more? So you see today was a beautiful day because I just let it not get to me: the fact that people are taking everything out of me. It is not as horrible as it sounds when you read it but it is quiet a not so great feeling.

I love to bake so when I was asked my automatic response is: yes. But call me crazy, I was sort of expecting a “thank you,” or anything for that matter? I get it, you needed the cake and you didn’t have time to do it but then shouldn’t it mean so much more to you that I went and did it for you? Call me crazy (don’t worry, you wouldn’t be the first) but I was sort of expecting something.

Now you’re probably thinking well she’s probably not really a giver but a giver that is giving only to take and my reply to that thought is: no. I give without expecting in return. Then why did I expect something here? Well maybe it’s because this person has a tendency to be passive aggressive (Dr. Perry has a good post on the character traits of this type of person), she takes, takes, takes, and makes me very not happy. She doesn’t just take what I give her, she thinks everything is hers and she can take whatever she wants, whenever she wants WITHOUT ASKING! You don’t do that. After saying no soooo many times to her, you would think she would be at least somewhat appreciative when I said yes.

I am learning now, or trying to, to balance a giver and taker, because there is no reason in the world why you can’t be both. Saying thank you is just proper etiquette, not even expectations.

That was just five minutes of my day. The rest of it had some twisted moments but I am focusing on being positive, not with her though, I don’t need to try and convice myself that she’s changed when she probably never will.

Wish me luck, she’ll be here all weekend.

Your Editor