If you are going to be anything in life, be nice

it can’t hurt

It is a simple thing to be. There is nothing more to it: just be nice.

I met a very nice lady today, she gave her time to me, genuinely cared about how I looked, and took the time to make me feel good. Not everyone can be nice, but if you have the chance, nice for even a moment, is better than nothing.

My Husband laughs at me because I say “hello” and “good morning” to just about everyone I see. I can tell you that about 85-90% of the people do not respond. Why? I was just being nice and saying hello or wishing you a good day. I don’t get it. Actually, I take that back- I get it to an extent. If I was some creepy person saying hi then I do not blame you for avoiding all eye contact. However, last I checked the mirror, I looked as un-creepy as they get. Yes, everyone has their perception of what creepy is, but some people you can just tell are not out to kidnap you or steal your wallet. Anyways- back to being nice…

It is nice to be nice- if you know what I mean. You get pleasure from being nice to someone else. It is fulfilling in its own sense of the word.

There is  famous saying of “if you have nothing nice to say, then don’t say it,” I am not the greatest at following to it, but there are certainly some very fine people out there who have nothing bad to say about anyone and anything. I am human tho, and plenty of times I will complain about something/someone, or say a not so nice comment. But what I try to do is whenever a nice comment pops in my head I say it. I don’t care if I never met you, if I think your dress is pretty I will openly tell you “nice dress!” Your choice on how to respond- but I will not keep a complement inside. So, I will still have times where I won’t say the nicest thing ever but I have plenty more nice things that come out of my mouth that I say with pride. You never know when a nice compliment can save someone’s day, life, or even make a slight improvement, or even make them laugh because they think you are crazy!

I remember vividly sitting in class one day during a rough patch in my life and just waiting to see how long it would take for someone to just smile my way, say hello, wave, anything. I remember thinking to myself that if only people would look outside themselves for a moment they would realize that there is a world filled with people, and some of those people they can actually make a difference to. It was a lonely time in my life and I think that is why I try so very hard to look for the sad people in the crowd, sometimes it is hard to find them but when you make eye contact, you can see it all. No one should feel like that. No one should wait for someone to smile at them, notice them, we are all humans and deserved to be treated with respect and the simple and easiest way that can be done is by looking at someone and saying “hello”.

Your Editor

 

Being a MRS.

a happy wife is a happy life

There is more to life than a ring, flowers, a big white dress, and one day. Life continues after. Life gets real after. Life becomes life. I know I say this a lot but it is important so I will say it here again: life is what you make it. Life would be easier if you could blame someone else or hold them responsible for your happiness. However, that is not how it works as I am sure many of you bloggers know.

Being married puts this concept into practice. Your spouse is NOT responsible for your happiness. Obviously, doing things to enhance your spirits is always nice but not dependable to your happiness. I say this because married or not, you go through things in life and you are in charge of how you decide to react. Your partner does not become responsible for your perspective. Yes, being married entails realizing your partner’s emotions, cheering them, being there for them, giving, etc, but one thing that continues to remain your responsibility is your reaction.

Marriage comes with a whole list of things to take care of: cleaning, cooking, laundry, I am sure I don’t need to verbalize more. Now all these things can become something hard to do, something bothersome, something painful, or you can put a smile, say you are lucky to have someone in your life to come home to, and get the job done. That, I would say, is step 1: starting your new role positively. Step 2 would be when your spouse does something, how do you react to it? It is not easy. It is easy to become ungrateful, unhappy, and unsatisfied, but doing the opposite will be much more fulfilling.

This may just be a post filled with thoughts not fully completed, but the bits and pieces are worth holding on to. We all know these ideas, concepts, whatever you want to call them, but like I always say, you have to do something with this information or else it will just sit in the front of your mind for a span of 30 seconds until something else more captivating takes over that spot and these thoughts will most likely be forever forgotten. That being said, have a saying hanging on your fridge that reminds you to stay and be positive, to be thankful, grateful, and most of all to smile. My Husband says one line that I will never forget: the hottest curve on your body is your smile. Being happy yourself will most definitely have an effect on your spouse, and if all is normal in your corner of the world, then that effect will be more positive than not.

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I hope my bits of randomness made you think of one more reason to look at life through a smiley pair of shades 🙂

Your Editor

Back from seventh heaven

Hey ya’ll!

Boy does time fly. The wedding came and went so fast. I keep looking at pictures trying to make it sink in, that this actually happened, I am actually a MRS! It is a crazy feeling. Also pretty crazy that it has not hit me! It was beautiful. A night filled with smiles, love, family, friends, and a handsome man to go home with. Mind you all, our ride home was ONE OF A KIND! Not the typical limo. My Husband (AHH!) arranged to get the car of my dream, 1960 Bentley! I was shocked! He completely surprised me, and that was the best part. He knew what I wanted and I did not even realize it!! It made the whole night! We danced our hearts out and left holding each other as one.

Everyone has high expectations of the first night. We came back and I was bent over trying not to throw up, it was comforting knowing my Husband (it won’t ever get old saying it ;)) put me first and made sure I got what I needed to feel better.

Marriage is what you make it. Everyone can tell you what it will and won’t be but at the end of the day your attitude is what will get you the furthest. Things get challenging but a smile and a bit of compromising never killed anyone and actually can get you further than you think. With that in mind, today is a brand new day filled with endless giving, devotion, love, and putting each other first. Take a minute and tell your partner you love them. Reflect on why you chose them to be in your life and you will suddenly be filled with a whole lot of love 🙂

Till next time 😘

Your Editor

One who gives kindness

There is a difference between one who gives kindness and one who does kindness. The nature of the word giving is to give of oneself. When someone is in the position of giving with a full heart, their gift can mean a lot. However, when one does kindness they can simply be doing it with no part of themselves. When one gives they are giving a part of oneself. When one does they are not including themselves in their gift.

I have met many people in my life that will continue to do things for others. When ever someone needs them they run to do it but they are missing the right intention. There is a certain feeling that comes along with giving that one does not get when they are just doing.

This applies to every relationship in life. Take it a step further and it applies to random strangers you encounter in the streets. When you have the personality of giving everyone around you can feel that you care about them.

I feel very special to have people in my life who genuinely give to me. It inspires me to give to people in return. Take note of how you make others feel: do you give to them or do you do for them?

Your Editor

The balance between mother and person

What category are you part of?

There is a fine line between a mother and a person. I wonder what it will be like for me. I see mothers all around me and it is easy to tell the angry mother from the selfish mother and the loving warm mother from the cold mother.

A mother is in the position to be every type of person out there. There is a time and place for every emotion, what you decide to use in that situation is what mother you become. I met a family of 10 kids that each one can honestly say they have never heard their mother raise her voice. Shocking, I know. On the other hand I know mothers that scream, that is their way of talking. I know mothers that have absolutely nothing nice to say to their kids. There are mothers who only think about themselves and if they want something they get it because they have the position of a mother.

I am not entering motherhood yet but entering marriage makes your mind automatically think about the next stage in your life. I would like to think that I can figure out how to be a well balanced mother; firm when my children need it, always loving and supportive, caring, strong, patient, happy. The list goes on. I want to be able to come home from a rough day at work and file work away in a cabinet and put a smile on my face. If my kid wants to know why after everything I say, be able to respond without getting annoyed. I know a mother who made a hole in her wall because she punched it so hard as a result of her daughter asking why too many times. I want to show my children how to have the proper respect, fear , and love for us. I do not want to create a home where my children are built out of fear. On the other side, I want them to have the level of fear they need to have in order to properly respect. It is all so complex. I think of it as a sound system that has over a hundred different lines that can be leveled up or down yet somehow they are all supposed to evenly match up but when you try matching them up there are always a few that go too high or too low.

We still need to be humans. Until about a few years ago I never thought of my mother as a person, she was my mother. Only when you reach a certain age do you realize your mother has emotions, needs, desires too. It is hard to have kids that do not realize it. The key is to raise them in a way that they know it. I have not figured out how to do that, yet.

We will need to figure out how to balance us and the children (us being husband and wife). It is no longer just us in the marriage. However, one cannot act as though there is no us. First came you, then your spouse, then your kids. You must care for yourself. Once you are at peace, your husband, and last your kids. Balance is the key word here; one cannot be overly obsessed with taking care of just themselves or just their spouse, the sound levels need to match up with the amount you put into each line.

I hope thinking about this now can help me in the future be a well balanced mother to our children.

Your Editor

Make your own magic

it’s so simple

Photo by Sarah Trummer from Pexels

A very sweet friend of mine gave me this awesome birthday present: The Happy Planner. I think I have spoken about it before but in case that I haven’t, IT IS A MUST BUY! For someone like me, who loves to be organized, keep lists, be focused, and on track, it really puts you in a great mood. I sat today filling it all up and it makes me happy inside. I love being organized and feeling like everything is all settled and taken care of. If you haven’t done so yet, I highly suggest it! (Also, on a side note- great present!) 🙂

You know that feeling you have when the world is spinning around you and you’re trying to hold on to something but every chance you get somehow you end up attached to something else and then when you look back, you have completely forgotten what was just in your face two minutes ago? If you haven’t had that feeling than wow you’re lucky! If you have had it-I get it you’re a busy, busy person!

As I am sure you all know, I am always busy, hence my lack of blog posts. However, I am a firm believer in making time for things that matter to me (don’t ask me why there hasn’t been many blog posts though lol). Anyway, back to what I was saying: life has me hanging upside down at the moment, thankfully for good reasons though. There is one thing though… no I am not complaining… I will need surgery and it just so happens that everything is falling out all within the same two weeks (so please, forgive me in advance for the lack of blog posts). What is it that people say? It’s good to be busy? Yes, agreed, but every so often a chance to sit and hold a warm cup of tea and take a deep breath would be really wonderful.

My better half is in town this weekend and it is so refreshing seeing his clean-shaven face, (that he does specially for me- don’t you love it when they care so much about you that even the smallest of things that make you happy suddenly mean so much more coming from him?) smile, smell, and just hear his laugh. Oh, and the absolute best part is that I can finally put down my phone! I know it sounds odd, but long distance relationships mean always calling/texting/FaceTiming, emailing, everything that involves a screen, and I know that the new generation is all for technology but I won’t lie and tell you I like it. I prefer the silence, no phones buzzing, nothing to rush to, you know, the life you can actually enjoy? Sorry, rambling again.

To be quite honest with you all, I would love to sit here and brag about how wonderful my better half is and tell you all about the things he does for me but that is what the world and social media wants from all of us today. I feel as though blogging isn’t as much as social media in this regard- let me explain: social media has become a place where people plaster their life, things, people they interact with and anything they can get their hands on to show off. Since people are acting this way, followers that are having a low day, moment, period of their life, view these posts, pictures, etc. and get the wrong impression, causing them to be angry, upset, jealous. Take a simple example: say you walk into your home and your partner hadn’t taken out the trash, after you asked him and reminded him numerous times, you will get angry at them, either have a fight with them or something will just be off. Then, you go to your friend’s house and you see their partner taking out the trash… and it all goes downhill and all because of your garbage. Obviously, this was a small example, but as the saying goes, it could be the straw that broke the camel’s back. Now, take my example and fit it into the constant swiping motion our thumbs do the majority of the day, it’s all so close to you, so easy to access that it becomes less of a distraction (what I believe it was intended to be) and more of a blood boiler. Therefore, I will not brag and I will not complain, I will simply say that we all have someone who does things for us in life, you can choose to make those moments the magic between you or you can choose to make it the worlds.

Your Editor

 

Words to live by

your attitude comes first

Hey all 🙂

I finally have a few minutes and I wanted to jot down some thoughts and feelings.

First: when there’s a new person at work: pity them. They legit don’t know how to do anything. It takes some people more time than others to get things right. Also, cut the person who is training them some slack because it is not easy!

Second: for the second time in my whole life I actually felt what it is like to have a normal birthday. You see it is the simple things and that’s all it it takes for one to feel special. For example, a cake, a nice card, or even just remembering. I can’t tell you how many birthdays went by where I simply waiting for someone to remember, there’s just too many! Now, I know some families celebrate and some families don’t. Mine happens to be the one where we celebrate for half of them. But you see it’s not equally half… just not so much mine. I don’t know why or how it came to be this way but unfortunately it is. So my advice to you is even if you’re not the richest, don’t have the time, and are not in the mood it really doesn’t take a long time to make someone feel special. It’s not hard also. No need for big parties or wild presents, simple is special too so long as it is meaningful.

Third: ignorance is bliss. Many people say that and many people are still not blissful. I’d like to take that phrase and twist it a bit to mean that ignoring something that bothers you can give you happiness. Now, this obviously applies in many areas. However, I want you to just take note in one area: your health. That can mean a headache, nausea, cold, etc. Feeling anything less healthy than you usually feel can really drain you emotionally and physically. Many days of my life have gone by focusing on the horrible physical feelings, like the exceptionally painful headaches. Yesterday I actually chose to try and ignore my head pains. I didn’t tell anyone, I didn’t focus on it, I simply refused to give my headache any credit. 1. It made me fee better already because I wasn’t overly obsessing over my headache which usually would make it feel worse 2. I actually had a beautiful day yesterday and having a headache was just not part of it and I wasn’t going to let it get in the way. It’s hard sometimes to let it be and try and focus on other things. But trust me, it’s worth it. I heard an interesting phrase from my grandma (no, I don’t know why I am using so many phrases, must be because I cannot sleep) she used to tell her children that she put her head to rest on the bookshelf. It sounds hilarious but apparently back in her day it was some for of ‘medication,’ I put it in quotes because it’s not actually medication like somehow everything today is. The best medicine for any human being is all in the mind. Everyone knows it yet somehow everyone rather drug them self silly and destroy their organs than actually put their brain to work. Anyhow, back to grandma. She used to suffer from severe migraines and could simply not handle it anymore. Part of the way she got over it was by mentally shutting her brain off and figuratively putting her head on the shelf. Now, I am not doctor and this is all my not so humble opinion but let me just tell you that ignorance in this department is truly a blessing.

And last but not least: have a blessed day 🙂

Which reminds me of how my hair stylist answers the question how are you, simply saying “I am blessed”. Now that attitude can take you far 🙂

Your Editor