The positive theory

Not so much a theory as a new idea that has yet to be fully developed. But- I sort of had to snap out of being so snappy (pun 🙃) so I took a look at what was making me bonkers:

I found that I was not communicating my emotions as much and instead was keeping things bottled up and I was not very happy. I also noticed that when I did not have a busy or structured day it made me a bit wired and on edge (it also gave me time to concentrate on the negative things). For example, being busy gave me the ability to forget the nervs in my stomach. I did not concentrate on hum much this pill affects my body. However, I did take notice that when I did not let myself think that the pill was in control of me, I gave myself the ability to be in control of the pill, which is just already a start in controlling your life and feeling more focused.

Taking all of the above into my list of fuzes made it much easier to figure out how to stay happy. No more not knowing tomorrow’s schedule or waiting around for people to decide when and what to do. Having things organized keeps my head and body in the same spot and just gives me a sense of direction. That being taken care of I moved on to the next issue: communication. I always struggles with communicating, especially after being in an abusive relationship. Just today I watched a seven year old perfectly communicate over to his mother how something someone told him hurt his feelings and caused him to be upset for a few minutes. He used many things to describe his pain and what caused it and the scenario. I was amazed, one because I could only now do that and I barely come close to that and two because his mother responded with such affection and love that the boy felt secure telling over his feelings and did not feel as though he could not say them. I may have been deprived of that in my life but I certainly see and am learning what it takes to properly communicate how and what I am feeling and to also listen to what someone complaining has to say and to make them feel secure to tell me. It takes a lot of effort and is not very easy but the results are worth it. So part of me being able to communicate better will mean that I better organize my day so that I have time to discuss and actually think about how I feel. This also will allow me to get a decent nights sleep, which I have not been getting but need very badly.

All that being said I hope to try and continue to be in control of my life, feelings, words, and most importantly, actions. I think I finally have my head on straight and can take this on with a smile and love. ☺️

Your Editor

One who gives kindness

There is a difference between one who gives kindness and one who does kindness. The nature of the word giving is to give of oneself. When someone is in the position of giving with a full heart, their gift can mean a lot. However, when one does kindness they can simply be doing it with no part of themselves. When one gives they are giving a part of oneself. When one does they are not including themselves in their gift.

I have met many people in my life that will continue to do things for others. When ever someone needs them they run to do it but they are missing the right intention. There is a certain feeling that comes along with giving that one does not get when they are just doing.

This applies to every relationship in life. Take it a step further and it applies to random strangers you encounter in the streets. When you have the personality of giving everyone around you can feel that you care about them.

I feel very special to have people in my life who genuinely give to me. It inspires me to give to people in return. Take note of how you make others feel: do you give to them or do you do for them?

Your Editor

Make your own magic

it’s so simple

Photo by Sarah Trummer from Pexels

A very sweet friend of mine gave me this awesome birthday present: The Happy Planner. I think I have spoken about it before but in case that I haven’t, IT IS A MUST BUY! For someone like me, who loves to be organized, keep lists, be focused, and on track, it really puts you in a great mood. I sat today filling it all up and it makes me happy inside. I love being organized and feeling like everything is all settled and taken care of. If you haven’t done so yet, I highly suggest it! (Also, on a side note- great present!) 🙂

You know that feeling you have when the world is spinning around you and you’re trying to hold on to something but every chance you get somehow you end up attached to something else and then when you look back, you have completely forgotten what was just in your face two minutes ago? If you haven’t had that feeling than wow you’re lucky! If you have had it-I get it you’re a busy, busy person!

As I am sure you all know, I am always busy, hence my lack of blog posts. However, I am a firm believer in making time for things that matter to me (don’t ask me why there hasn’t been many blog posts though lol). Anyway, back to what I was saying: life has me hanging upside down at the moment, thankfully for good reasons though. There is one thing though… no I am not complaining… I will need surgery and it just so happens that everything is falling out all within the same two weeks (so please, forgive me in advance for the lack of blog posts). What is it that people say? It’s good to be busy? Yes, agreed, but every so often a chance to sit and hold a warm cup of tea and take a deep breath would be really wonderful.

My better half is in town this weekend and it is so refreshing seeing his clean-shaven face, (that he does specially for me- don’t you love it when they care so much about you that even the smallest of things that make you happy suddenly mean so much more coming from him?) smile, smell, and just hear his laugh. Oh, and the absolute best part is that I can finally put down my phone! I know it sounds odd, but long distance relationships mean always calling/texting/FaceTiming, emailing, everything that involves a screen, and I know that the new generation is all for technology but I won’t lie and tell you I like it. I prefer the silence, no phones buzzing, nothing to rush to, you know, the life you can actually enjoy? Sorry, rambling again.

To be quite honest with you all, I would love to sit here and brag about how wonderful my better half is and tell you all about the things he does for me but that is what the world and social media wants from all of us today. I feel as though blogging isn’t as much as social media in this regard- let me explain: social media has become a place where people plaster their life, things, people they interact with and anything they can get their hands on to show off. Since people are acting this way, followers that are having a low day, moment, period of their life, view these posts, pictures, etc. and get the wrong impression, causing them to be angry, upset, jealous. Take a simple example: say you walk into your home and your partner hadn’t taken out the trash, after you asked him and reminded him numerous times, you will get angry at them, either have a fight with them or something will just be off. Then, you go to your friend’s house and you see their partner taking out the trash… and it all goes downhill and all because of your garbage. Obviously, this was a small example, but as the saying goes, it could be the straw that broke the camel’s back. Now, take my example and fit it into the constant swiping motion our thumbs do the majority of the day, it’s all so close to you, so easy to access that it becomes less of a distraction (what I believe it was intended to be) and more of a blood boiler. Therefore, I will not brag and I will not complain, I will simply say that we all have someone who does things for us in life, you can choose to make those moments the magic between you or you can choose to make it the worlds.

Your Editor

 

Life

Who will walk with you?

I haven’t lived that many years but the ones I have, I have learned a lot.

Life is meant to be challenging, that is what makes it, ironically, enjoyable. Without the struggles, life isn’t worth living. Everyone knows it. But feeling it in the moment, is a whole other story.

There are many ways situations in life can go and like everyone knows, it is all a matter of your perspective. Once you have the correct mindset whatever hits you, and I say hits you because life isn’t kind, it will hurt and it will be unexpected, then dealing with it is just a walk in the park.

And what happens if you don’t like to take walks in the park? I would say: too bad because life doesn’t design things that you like.

You will find yourself in many situations that are scary, painful, annoying, difficult. But you will also find yourself in many situations that are happy, fun, loving, pleasurable and other enjoyable moments. Let’s try and remember life isn’t all about the bad or all about the good, it is a balance between that two that makes life special and meaningful.

You may also find yourself looking back at difficult moments and telling yourself that those times were the best things that ever happened to you and made you who you are today. You will say that to yourself when you have the right mindset. The trick is saying it in the moment. Looking back is easy, looking forward is scary, looking at the present is hard, but the only way to live. Many of us are too busy planning, too busy sulking, to busy focusing on everything other than what is right around us causing being in the moment to be close to impossible.

You know this all. We all do. But we all seek to find ways to look everywhere but in front of our feet. So, maybe instead of looking how to feel better with what happened, make a point to try and feel now. Feel what is around you and use a positive mindset to make the current difficulties manageable.

Always remember you may not be in the mood of a walk in the park today but one day you will be, and you will regret all those walks you missed.

Your Editor

Don’t ask

I don’t know how to explain it

I can’t say I get it. But I can tell you that sometimes it makes sense. What it is exactly? I will never know. How it makes sense? Don’t ask me that.

Simple yet complex.

You say you want information, you’re curious, however, the water is deep. Thank God you can swim. Or at least that is what you think, but it is far beyond that. Much deeper than that.

What it is you ask? Don’t ask me that.

Curious? Anxious? Nervous? Scared? Aren’t we all. You are no different and I am no braver. Somehow, we are all supposed to manage.

It’s easier to know sometimes what is going on, how to make sense of it all but despite all the information, there is always something left in the dark, purposely or not. Then again, who said ignorance wasn’t bliss?

Don’t ask me how, what, where, when, or who. Just know that I know as little as you know and as much as you will never know. Because who ever said you know what you don’t know, and knowing that much is knowing more than you’ll ever know, was right.

Your Editor

It will only take 3 minutes

It’s worth it 😊

Well… maybe add a few more seconds, so three minutes and a little bit. BUT trust me (if you want to) it is worth it!!

So maybe it’s not an incurable cancer, four tumors, and two heart attacks and maybe it’s a surgery, wisdoms teeth, five root canals, and a cast, it doesn’t matter. It matters if you make it matter. If you have the option, which you do, to make something matter than decide to make what actually matters, matter. Make your positive perspective matter. Make your decision to smile, do something for someone less fortunate than you, or even just put on some lipstick and make yourself feel good. It takes little to make us feel a bit more positive, go the extra two steps and make that change.

I feel like I have discussed perspectives in other posts and I think sometimes I make it sound so simple. The truth is: it’s a challenge. It takes a lot of energy to get up when you really don’t want to. However, the boy in the video was able to do it because he had one thing that was crucial: a good support system. We may not all be as lucky to have a good relationship with a mother, father, sibling, but hopefully everyone has that one person in their life they know they can turn to.

If you don’t, it may be a good time to work on finding that person. If you can’t seem to find them, maybe you’re searching too far and they are really in front of your eyes. Maybe you just need to work to build the relationships you have already. That is for you to figure out.

Be honest and true with yourself because it may one day save your life.

Your Editor

Words to live by

your attitude comes first

Hey all 🙂

I finally have a few minutes and I wanted to jot down some thoughts and feelings.

First: when there’s a new person at work: pity them. They legit don’t know how to do anything. It takes some people more time than others to get things right. Also, cut the person who is training them some slack because it is not easy!

Second: for the second time in my whole life I actually felt what it is like to have a normal birthday. You see it is the simple things and that’s all it it takes for one to feel special. For example, a cake, a nice card, or even just remembering. I can’t tell you how many birthdays went by where I simply waiting for someone to remember, there’s just too many! Now, I know some families celebrate and some families don’t. Mine happens to be the one where we celebrate for half of them. But you see it’s not equally half… just not so much mine. I don’t know why or how it came to be this way but unfortunately it is. So my advice to you is even if you’re not the richest, don’t have the time, and are not in the mood it really doesn’t take a long time to make someone feel special. It’s not hard also. No need for big parties or wild presents, simple is special too so long as it is meaningful.

Third: ignorance is bliss. Many people say that and many people are still not blissful. I’d like to take that phrase and twist it a bit to mean that ignoring something that bothers you can give you happiness. Now, this obviously applies in many areas. However, I want you to just take note in one area: your health. That can mean a headache, nausea, cold, etc. Feeling anything less healthy than you usually feel can really drain you emotionally and physically. Many days of my life have gone by focusing on the horrible physical feelings, like the exceptionally painful headaches. Yesterday I actually chose to try and ignore my head pains. I didn’t tell anyone, I didn’t focus on it, I simply refused to give my headache any credit. 1. It made me fee better already because I wasn’t overly obsessing over my headache which usually would make it feel worse 2. I actually had a beautiful day yesterday and having a headache was just not part of it and I wasn’t going to let it get in the way. It’s hard sometimes to let it be and try and focus on other things. But trust me, it’s worth it. I heard an interesting phrase from my grandma (no, I don’t know why I am using so many phrases, must be because I cannot sleep) she used to tell her children that she put her head to rest on the bookshelf. It sounds hilarious but apparently back in her day it was some for of ‘medication,’ I put it in quotes because it’s not actually medication like somehow everything today is. The best medicine for any human being is all in the mind. Everyone knows it yet somehow everyone rather drug them self silly and destroy their organs than actually put their brain to work. Anyhow, back to grandma. She used to suffer from severe migraines and could simply not handle it anymore. Part of the way she got over it was by mentally shutting her brain off and figuratively putting her head on the shelf. Now, I am not doctor and this is all my not so humble opinion but let me just tell you that ignorance in this department is truly a blessing.

And last but not least: have a blessed day 🙂

Which reminds me of how my hair stylist answers the question how are you, simply saying “I am blessed”. Now that attitude can take you far 🙂

Your Editor