And… the Internet is back

it wasn’t because I was in the woods

Yes, that is where I have gone, into a world where WiFi barely exist and I run around trying to find some sort of service, or even just a sliver of connection to be able to just one more text message. I am so sick and tired of: “hello? Helllooo?? Can you hear me??” and me yelling back “I HEAR YOU! CAN YOU HEAR ME???!” You do not understand the level of frustration and anxiety it gives me. Lesson: make sure you have damn good service in a house before you buy it.

I attempted to blog but the Internet just wouldn’t connect to anything; it was very, very, very, upsetting.

So with the WiFi back let me catch all of you guys up with my life:

The weekend went smooth, we had some unexpected visitors come from out-of-state and it’s very nice to see them, yes they are staying by us, where else would they stay? However, one of them has taken ill and is now hospitalized for possibly stomach cancer and it’s not fun. Mind you all, when they showed up, after I already cooked most of the food for the weekend, I was informed of their vegan status. Trust me when I tell you that I was pretty shocked how that information was not made known to the one cooking all their meals in advance. Foolish souls. Applesauce is a great replacement for eggs by the way ūüėČ

I participated in Sally’s Baking Addiction March competition, I made what I thought was a very pretty cake, however I did not win, so that was disappointing. I also wasn’t one of the lucky ones to get their cake posted on her blog. It seems to me that she tends to use whatever she sees on Facebook as opposed to other social media sites. I guess I won’t be winning anytime soon because I do not have a Facebook account.

Why is that you ask?

Well I am just not interested. My life is too busy. I do not need to spend time looking at whatever everyone else is doing and feeling like I am missing out or why wasn’t I invited. We have enough stress in our life, why on earth would I put myself in a position to just gossip and snoop around other people’s lives? I suppose WordPress is the most I have got to social media and I feel like people use this more as an inspirational and therapeutic environment than to show off. That being the case, I am totally content without it.

As for the rest of the week…

I sort of did something I really shouldn’t have and I knew at the time that I was making a mistake and I should stop and I didn’t. I don’t know what possessed me to act so foolishly, or why I even had the desire too. I guess when things aren’t allowed for you, you have more of a temptation to do those things. Anyway, I feel dreadful. I, however, made peace with myself a little bit because I had a choice to tell my better half or not, if not, he would have never have found out. But as hard as it was: I told him. He reacted in the best way a person could. Legit. He was sweet, so sweet, didn’t scream or yell, or make this about him. He just acted lovingly to try to understand why I did what I shouldn’t have. I feel dreadful and no amount of apologies can take away what I did. It affects him too, and he’s trying to see why I did it because maybe he is the reason why I did it, but he’s not. He can never be. He is too good to me for that. No, I didn’t cheat on him, I’m not that type of girl, and I overly happy being in a relationship with him, but what I did still affects him. The truth was when I did it I wasn’t thinking that he would be affected, just that maybe he would be disappointed. When I had the conversation to him I realized that being in a relationship means that what you do, good or bad, will no matter what or how somehow will always affect your partner. I should have been smarted than I was, I should have realized. I selfishly did something I wanted to do without thinking of the other person in my life, that makes up my life. My life is no longer MY life to live alone and do as I please, I have someone who will be my Husband in a few short months that I constantly need to put ahead of me and think of before acting foolishly. Maybe all of this was supposed to happen so I can learn this lesson. They do say the best lessons in life come from experiences. I wish it wouldn’t have tho.

I’m disappointed in myself. I am better than that.

Your Editor

Balancing

learn to balance your need for protecting your child with their ability to grow into adults

I don’t know what it is about some parents but at some point they need to learn to cut the cord. You would think that once was a sign at childbirth but no. Maybe I don’t get it because I am not a parent but seriously?!

I get that you want to protect your kids and never want them to get harmed or lose their innocence, but sometimes, keeping them tied to your hip is more harmful than not.

Take a married child for example: they should not be at their parents home more than their own home. It affects their relationship with their spouse.

Some men are ‘mama’s boys’ and they are always crawling back home. This becomes a challenge for their partner/spouse because where do they fit in? I know someone who turns to their parents before their spouse. They view their spouse as…. nothing, to be honest with you I don’t even know how they got married. The spouse has no credibility, they both don’t listen to each other, and they barely spend time together. You may think I am talking about someone who has been married for 10 maybe 15 years…

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They have been married for almost two years. It wasn’t like they spent time dating either or knew each other for five years before they got married. Sadly, it looks like it. Now, I can’t say it’s all their fault, the in-laws aren’t much help either. Once your child is married you don’t get involved in the decisions they make as a couple. If they ask for advice, you can give them your¬†opinion, but that is it!

I may look back on this post when I have my own kids one day and laugh at how crazy I sounded but I really do believe, right now that is, that there is only so much, and so long, that you can control your children.

On the flip side, the younger generations are of a different breed and they are primarily focused on their over-inflated egos, so if their parents are from a bit back, raising them and controlling them becomes a challenge.

Every kid needs a different level of control in order to help them grow into responsible adults. You can’t simply decide that because you can’t control what your child wants, and all they think about is themselves that you will just leave them alone to fend for themselves. No. Put your foot down, make them pay for their car, gas, and other desires that you do not agree with them having. Until they can meet you halfway, meaning say you have certain expectations of your child (which all parents should have because that is what will force your child to think outside their four feet) and your child has not met any of them, and I’m not talking about those parents who expect their child to do everything that when they were a kid, were unable to, I am talking about expecting your child to do their homework, help out in the house, wake up at a reasonable time etc., if your child can not do the bare minimum of your expectations, then don’t meet the bare minimum of their expectations. Depending on what home environment you come from or are building, their expectations will be different. If you have money, the child may expect that they are entitled to certain things, taking away those things will make them stop with the¬†me, me, me, and actually think further than that moment of instant pleasure.

It is sad because it will take these kids late into their life, when possibly their parents are no longer around, to realize “wow, this attitude on life is completely self-absorbed and foolish.”

It is never too late, however, the time wasted can never be brought back. Control each kid the way they need it, in order to make¬†them the best person they can be, not because you can’t bear to see your little baby grow up, you’re ruining them more than building them.

Your Editor

Excitement is in the air

the key is staying happy

You know when something new is happening everyone is so excited? Like, it’s fun planning a wedding (or should be at least), the engagement party, the proposal.

My better half was talking with some of his friends last night and the conversation was about what he will do after the excitement of marriage dies down. Now, can I just say something? Why does the excitement have to ever die down? I was reading a book the other day and it brought up something I found gave me mixed emotions: the priest was telling one of the participants of a divorce support group how he finds it ironic how when he gives marriage classes and everyone is falling asleep but in his divorce classes, everyone is taking notes. I know people don’t get married thinking about getting divorced. Actually, I take that back, now a days people get married while planning their divorce. There are people out there that have hidden bank accounts just waiting for the day they get divorced. But why can’t people just put their all into their marriage. Instead they are splitting themself either in half or 30/70 or some other percentage and not giving their undivided attention to building and being a part of a relationship. It takes a lot of work, effort, time, commitment to have a successful relationship so if you’re so busy splitting your attention between your relationship and the end of your relationship, it will never last.

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It’s so pathetic.

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(side note: if you have not watched The Good Wife, you are missing out on an unbelievably, genius TV show- the character in the gif above is one of the actors)

Overhearing my better half’s conversation got me thinking about all of this and also the reason why I started this blog in the first place. The name is Forever Day One for a reason; I want the rest of my life to be as exciting as the first day I started anything I was looking forward too. There is no reason in the world why every morning I shouldn’t wake up with the same enjoyment. I get it, life gets hectic, it’s hard out there. But at the end of the day we are all going through life anyway, why on earth won’t we just make the most out of it?

The answer may be because that would require us to be constantly focusing on the positive. Now, I am not perfect and I have my mean, bitchy days but at the end of it, or throughout the day if I did not try to bring whatever it is I screwed up around back to the happy place it was before, then I have failed to live that day as a gift. We all feel so blessed when we encounter things we don’t generally deserve or things we have worked up to in our life but then we get sick of it. We become that four-year old boy who has been begging his parents for a new truck, finally get it, plays with it for a week, maybe a month, and then forgets about it. Marriage is not like that. You can’t just marry someone, have fun with them, get used to them, and then three months later find a new toy to play with. You have to find ways to make yourself the ‘toy’ no one wants to ever stop playing with.

Which is hard to do. There is always someone who will be more attractive, successful, motivated, wealthier, than you. But as long as you remember why you started out with someone, other people in the world won’t matter. Don’t focus on who is out there, focus on what is in you, how far can you go? If you concentrate on that, I will tell you that you won’t be faced with¬†what will life be like after the excitement of marriage dies down, rather you will be confronted with¬†what excitement will today bring that wasn’t here yesterday?¬†

It is more than just living every day to the fullest. Like I wrote in¬†My Dream,¬†asking yourself how hard you worked today and not going to sleep until you’ve done all that you can, can be applied to this; how much effort did you put into your relationship today so that it can feel like it felt the first day you met your partner/spouse?

All it takes it the desire to make life beautiful and when any relationship starts out, all they should be focusing on is the beauty, not the divorce papers.

Make every day better than the first day.

Your Editor

My Day

really just a brief moment in my head

It may sound a bit crazy but what is life if it isn’t?

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I am a very “list” type of person. I write a million ones all over the place. I know it is February but I just bought my 2018 calendar (which are so important- when you don’t like your calendar, there is a problem). CVS did not have as wide of a selection as I would have liked… but it will do. (Just BTW because I am not SOO obsessed with it, I have not been using it as much- point proven).

My life is currently like that movie Bride Wars with Kate Hudson and Anne Hathaway. No, my best friend is not getting married on the same day as me, but some other selfish person decided to reserve the hall the same day I did and now it’s one big mess. The difference is the hall isn’t big enough for two weddings. But that was like the one day where all my million siblings and family members and pregnant ladies finally agreed on. Not to mention everyone’s camp schedules. I don’t know about you but I am pretty sure the day is for the bride and groom and everyone else can go screw themselves. My real question though is: is there a bride out there that isn’t stressed out?

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So now after finally all agreeing on a date, we got to go through the whole process all over again and to be quite honest with you I am very close to just eloping and forgetting the whole thing. I never wanted a big wedding. Now I am starting to want one less and less everyday. But at the end of the day, as much as they say the wedding is for the bride it really is not; it’s for the mother of the bride. So while my mother is popping out her kid and my sister is popping out hers, somewhere in the midst of all that I will become a Mrs.

I told my parents to just let me know what day I am getting married. Yep, read that again, still sounds just as crazy as when I typed it out.

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As if it wasn’t enough, my Pilate’s teacher decided to quit. My one escape from life is now officially over the first week of March, and trust me that is coming up sooner than I want it to.

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Despite all the negativism, my better half seems to be handling this, or I really should say me, pretty well. He introduced me to beef jerky the other day. Yes, I know you’re probably thinking “what?! You never had beef jerky?!” Yes, I never had beef jerky. But I will tell you that I found it to be really good and what is even better: I am getting a package in the mail from my better half himself.

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And now everything seems to be that much more manageable.

Good luck with your day,

Your Editor

Is it a problem when…

he calls me mommy sometimes

Your little brother is with your mother and asks for you instead? I don’t know whether to feel overly good about myself or how bad I screwed myself over with this one or how hard it’ll be for this kid when I move out.

It will be an adjustment for the both of us I can tell you that. He’s practically my child!

I’m holding him in bed now, he’s got fever and a runny noise and half of me is like I do not want to catch whatever he has and the other half of me is feeling so horrible for him. He’s just so not himself.

The other day he heard me talking to my better half and I responded to something funny by saying “oh gosh, hunny”. The next thing I know I hear my little brother say “oh gosh, hunny” and it makes me want to just eat him up.

What a mother does for her kids.

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Once a mother always a mother. Does it count if you don’t actually give birth to them? I think so. After all there are people who cannot have kids and adopt. I suppose any person who experiences that sort of pull for their kids; to put them first, to give, to love, even when they are annoying as hell.

With all that said, I know it may sound a bit weird, but he does feel like my child. So, I am sure it is a bit of a problem when he calls  me Mommy instead of his actual mother, but he gets it right sometimes :).

 

Valentine’s Day

it’s more than just a date

Do you celebrate it?

There was conversation about it at work the other day; how it is a girls holiday and they don’t need to get their boyfriends/husbands anything. It made me think about lesbian relationships… does that mean one of them doesn’t get a present because they play the boyfriend/husband figure in the relationship? It also made me think how selfish that is to think that you deserve a present, for what? Wikipedia has a page on Valentine’s Day where is writes:

Valentine’s Day is recognized as a significant cultural, religious, and commercial celebration of¬†romance¬†in many regions around the world, although it is not a public holiday in any country.

That being said, Valentine’s Day is a day to celebrate romance. It doesn’t say who, what, where, and how, it just says romance. Therefore, if you are in a romantic relationship, you have an opportunity to celebrate it. That is a decision you make. What person wouldn’t want to celebrate it though? It is a day where you have another chance to express to your partner/spouse how you value them. That doesn’t require you to have to buy expensive gifts, just requires you to do something so that you show your partner/spouse that you appreciate them.

A friend brought up how she dislikes Valentine’s Day because if her boyfriend/husband needs a day to remind him how much he loves her then she doesn’t want to be a part of that relationship. I see where she is coming from.

I feel like everyone is writing about Valentine’s Day and for those of you that aren’t such a big fan of the day altogether, I’m sure it’s not too fun. So, I’d like to just take a minute and talk about romance. The day is after all a celebration of romance. So enough about who celebrates what and why, here’s a bit of romance.

What is romance? What people feel at the beginning of a relationship is romance: the emotions, the light-headedness, the butterflies.

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There is a sense of newness and freshness that people generally have in the beginning of a relationship. I know the day is over (I was supposed to have this post done on Valentine’s Day) but there is still time to take your spouse/partner out and show a little romance. I say romance and not love because you have love if you’re in a relationship for some time now. Do something special that brings those butterflies back.

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Don’t say¬†you love me a million times, do something that shows your spouse/partner that you they are exciting to you, that just because you’ve been together for so many years/months you still feel like the day where your relationship started.

We don’t need a day to tell us to love someone we already love, we need a day to remind us to go back to the romance, to bring it back into our lives.

Make every day like the first and you will never look elsewhere because you have it all.

Your Editor

OXOXO

give me love the way I need it

I say that, you say XOXO.

Who cares?

You do. But guess what? Now every time I say it I make sure to say it my way because I know it gets to you.

I’m smiling. You would be too.

It is times like these, moments like these, words like these, that just make us, US. 

Have your own language, find things that make both of you smile and laugh.¬† I watched this movie where the ‘thing’ they had together was she wanted a kiss on the nose from him.¬† So when they argued she would just tap her nose and she’d make him kiss her again and again until it felt just as it would when they weren’t fighting.¬† It is like having those words that you just can’t say them angrily: bubbles, giggles. Try yelling bubbles, see how far you get without hearing how ridiculous you sound.

There is a book that talks about the¬†5 love languages that people have and can I just ask why there can’t just be one?!! The book is a very good book but still—– it is hard to have different love languages.¬† I guess that is how you know when you really love someone; you really got to go out of your comfort zone and do what makes them happy. If you have any friends that are getting married or even in relationships, it is a great present.

But back to what I was saying… I think everyone should know what language they speak, this way if they feel like they are not getting what they need from their partner they could see if maybe their partner isn’t speaking the language they need to hear.

How do you discover that?

I’ll tell you how I did. I realized that my better half and I needed different things when we possessed any sort of emotion. For example, if he did something sweet for me I would show a bunch of different facial expressions in the moment, freak out, hug him, thank him and love whatever it is he did for me. However, he didn’t feel like I cared for it much because I didn’t express to him in words at the moment, later on in the day, or even a week later that I had very much valued what he did for me.¬† At first this was hard to get used to because 1. I never used to express how I was feeling, I just never knew how to put my words into feelings, 2. you have to really know a lot of different adjectives to not sound like a parrot. Now though, I am an almost expert at it; I can tell you how much I appreciated what you did for me in so many different words.¬† It takes a lot of practice. A lot of time. A lot of conversations trying to figure out what it is that would make him or me feel loved. I’d same my love language is easier than his but that is just because I am not used to verbally expressing how I feel. I am very physical. I like to be hugged, kissed, cuddled, brought something sweet, or anything of that nature. Pour me a cup of water and it will make me feel good inside.

Anyway, after I searched the words “OXOXO,” I realized he’s right and it is “XOXO.” But what if I want to give you a hug first and then a kiss?

I guess that’s just my love language.

Your Editor