I have met wayy too many new people in the span of much too short of a time. I can vaguely recall maybe a quarter of the people’s names. One thing I have stuck to is being myself. I find that when placed in many new scenes one can lose themselves trying to hold on to what is around them. It is a scary thought because one can get consumed in it and by the time they look up they are surrounded by unfamiliarity, with no clue how they got there.
I met the people, said hi, smiled, waved, pretended to show interest in details I could not remember two seconds after being said, most of all I stayed true to myself. So when they all stopped dancing and I wanted to dance, I danced despite every eye on me. And when the wannabe girlfriend flanked around my Husband, I felt pity for her but did not detour from standing confidently beside him. And when I wanted to jump in the pool and only the kids were in it- we jumped in together and all the adults secretly wished they had the balls to do it. I am me. I may have looked like a fool to you. I may have worn the wrong outfit in your opinion- but it’s just that- your opinion.
I know it’s not over, being in a new place requires the constant smiles and overly enthusiastic responses, however, I will be true to myself- and trust me- it’s doing you a favor. Say what you want behind my back, I am me and I am proud of me, good or bad, I will try my best to be pleasant, sweet, and nothing but wonderful, you on the other hand, may just not be my cup of tea- but it’s great meeting you 🙂
I sound mean but I mean it from the goodness inside me: I dislike the show everyone puts on for everyone else, I dislike the constant need to sound amazing and always happy, life is serious you know? We don’t all live in mansions covered in heaps of cash with not a worry in the world. It is like driving down a road filled with beautiful houses; you met me once, stopped, said a few words, commented on my looks, and went on to the next. There is more to me than that. Maybe if you actually heard what I had to say instead of nodding until I am done so you can say what you wanted to say next- then maybe I would think you would actually care to meet me. Instead all these people walk by me, stop, say their two cents, leave, catch up with the person a few steps ahead who just did the same thing and discuss what ‘type’ they think I am. I have only heard good things circle back my way about myself but it also just confirms that the cycle of people walking into my life actually is factual. Now if only one would stop, look me in the eyes and care for a genuine response, not just wait to hear the perfectly fabricated response you want me saying.
So if I say something unusual, maybe it is because I am an actual person not just a house standing on a pedestal waiting to be awed at.