Let me give you a little perspective

Work.

My department got shifted up to the third floor to join the general pop. We aren’t smack in the middle, we still have a more secluded area. However, our room is the only entrance to the conference room. Let me tell you that in the 24 hours that we’ve been there, there hasn’t been many pretty conversations. Yes, we hear everything. It is really awkward because when the employee comes out they have to go through a little sort of ‘walk of shame’ till they can leave our area, yep… pretty awkward!

With today’s society, no one wants to think anymore. Everyone wants to scroll, click, zoom, like, anything not to have to do anything, including think. It makes going to work and being a part of work so much harder. If you think about it most of your parents growing up didn’t even have cell phones. I know, strange to think about it being that cell phones are legit part of every second of our day-to-day lives. But yes, there was a time were no cell phones were seen in human’s hands or glued to their faces. I must say, yes life had its difficulties back then but having a conversation with someone and being at work were much easier things to do. No one can control the rapid progress of technology and I am not saying we should try, what I am saying is that people are forgetting what matters in life.

You know why a lot of employees are being yelled at? because their quality of work is just an embarrassment. We all have our phones on us during work hours, we all say we’re giving work 100% of our attention but we have bluetooth, wireless, headphones blasting our favorite TV show, where did the 100% work go?

We need our jobs to live. Our phones are not going to be the ones paying the bill or feeding our never-ending needs, and in the society of I want and I need it can be a big issue.

You don’t want to get yelled at by your supervisor? You want to actually get that raise you have been saying you deserve? Well then it’s simple: prove it.

Put the god damn phone down. Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, can all wait. Trust me they aren’t going anywhere (and that also means Pinterest). If you seriously can’t control yourself then shut off your notifications. Once you start actually giving your all to your job you’ll realize:

  1. it takes half the time or less than you always take to complete a task
  2. you’ll feel like your eyes can breath because they haven’t been jumping from this screen to that
  3. you’ll feel more accomplished
  4. you’ll be acknowledged at work for doing a good job
  5. and you will probably be a happier person because you have finally decided to cut down stalking other people’s lives and started enjoying your own

This post isn’t meant to tell you to cut down on your social media, rather to stop doing something with half an ear and half an eye. Pay attention, give your fullest to whatever it is you’re doing in life; work, family, school. You’ll realize how valuable your time is and how foolish you have been wasting away precious time, and all for another level of Candy Crush.

I won’t lie, I listen to a morning show while I work and sometimes I watch a TV show, but this week I took it upon myself to stop and now I have so much free time at work and during that free time I watch or do whatever I want because my work allows me. But you see, I am not doing those things anymore while I work, I gave my full attention to my work and as a result I am rewarded with extra time, with no mistakes in my work.

A happy boss, a happier employee.

Try it, I dare you 🙂

Your Editor

It’s only been a day

….And I am as pissed as can be.

There is something in this world called RESPECT, that some people just do NOT know exist. Respect to them is whatever is convenient for them.

I’m angry and frustrated. Seems like lately my post have been more complaining than actual help or advice, which would make the lack of views understandable.

I am trying to remember why I started blogging, it’s only been roughly 3.5 months and it has become a list on my to do list. I don’t like that. I should want to blog, and I do, if I wasn’t stressed out, upset, had a million other things that take priority to everyone else yet somehow fall on my shoulders. A friend of mine told me that usually it’s hard for people to transition into marriage but I can probably do it blindfolded. Sounds great for my ego, but I don’t want to be burnt out. I have a friend that was in charge of the laundry in her house growing up, till this day (she’s married with 6 kids) she does not touch an article of laundry. She will not do it. She hires a cleaning lady.

That reminds me of another thing: I grew up calling the household help a maid, however, my better half finds it demoralizing (I think that’s the right word?) and insist on calling her a cleaning lady. I find it sweet of him, how he has the utmost respect for people in all positions. He genuinely cares and to tie this into the top of this blog post, he respects people the way they want to be respected. Since no one knows who I am I can say this: he’s told me in confidence that one day when he becomes wealthy he’s going to spend a night on the streets. Don’t ask me where this idea came into his head, I find it completely outrageous and unusual. But for some reason it’s his thing. So is opening a soup kitchen. That dream I can agree with and I’ll gladly join in.

It’s funny because you don’t expect him to have as big of a heart as he does. He rarely smiles to others and exudes tremendous amount of confidence. Most people within five minutes of meeting him have told him he’s going to be very successful one day. I know that if he sets his heart and mind to something it will turn out amazing. My proof is that he set his heart and mind to our relationship and I see it constantly. With the crazy family that I come from, he as never left, and he has been threatened by both my parents. Despite that, the lack of joyous expression and engagement towards him, the way my siblings treat me and other various external situations he still remains here. To take it one step further, I am not the easiest girl to deal with. I have had my fair share of craziness, addictions, abusive boyfriends, yet somehow he has walked beside me and helped me slowly come around in the span of three years to a whole new being, to no more addictions, to no more self-harm, to no more low self-esteem and self-hatred. It takes a lot.

I heard something interesting the other day: there was a discussion on whether or not entering a relationship with someone who has never been in one is a good idea. My initial thought was no, why would it be? But then I took a minute and reminded myself of the old me and the beginning of my new relationship. When someone is in an unhealthy relationship it affects them and carries through to other relationships in their life. When I first started seeing my better half I could not communicate for the life of me, I thought only about his needs, I threw myself at him whenever he asked and even if he didn’t ask I would just completely destroy myself to do anything and everything for him. Obviously, I didn’t realize what I was doing, I was too used to being used and abused to realize it. But my better half did. And he didn’t let me throw myself at him, he gave me a voice and a chance to speak my mind and give an opinion. To express my feelings, to feel like a human. Not being in a relationship ever is, in my eyes, better than being in a bad relationship. If you’re faced with a choice of whom to go out with I would say the person that has never been in a relationship. Yes, it comes with challenges, but at least you don’t have to spend the beginning of your relationship correcting all the damages that the previous person did. It’s a tough position to be in, and sometimes you don’t realize your relationship was poison, you just have to hope that the next one that comes has a big enough heart to treat you right and to help you gain the respect that you deserve.

I don’t know what I have done in my life to have deserved such a person. I am forever grateful.

Your Editor

Excitement is in the air

the key is staying happy

You know when something new is happening everyone is so excited? Like, it’s fun planning a wedding (or should be at least), the engagement party, the proposal.

My better half was talking with some of his friends last night and the conversation was about what he will do after the excitement of marriage dies down. Now, can I just say something? Why does the excitement have to ever die down? I was reading a book the other day and it brought up something I found gave me mixed emotions: the priest was telling one of the participants of a divorce support group how he finds it ironic how when he gives marriage classes and everyone is falling asleep but in his divorce classes, everyone is taking notes. I know people don’t get married thinking about getting divorced. Actually, I take that back, now a days people get married while planning their divorce. There are people out there that have hidden bank accounts just waiting for the day they get divorced. But why can’t people just put their all into their marriage. Instead they are splitting themself either in half or 30/70 or some other percentage and not giving their undivided attention to building and being a part of a relationship. It takes a lot of work, effort, time, commitment to have a successful relationship so if you’re so busy splitting your attention between your relationship and the end of your relationship, it will never last.

Image result for gifs of getting divorced

It’s so pathetic.

Image result for gifs of getting divorced

(side note: if you have not watched The Good Wife, you are missing out on an unbelievably, genius TV show- the character in the gif above is one of the actors)

Overhearing my better half’s conversation got me thinking about all of this and also the reason why I started this blog in the first place. The name is Forever Day One for a reason; I want the rest of my life to be as exciting as the first day I started anything I was looking forward too. There is no reason in the world why every morning I shouldn’t wake up with the same enjoyment. I get it, life gets hectic, it’s hard out there. But at the end of the day we are all going through life anyway, why on earth won’t we just make the most out of it?

The answer may be because that would require us to be constantly focusing on the positive. Now, I am not perfect and I have my mean, bitchy days but at the end of it, or throughout the day if I did not try to bring whatever it is I screwed up around back to the happy place it was before, then I have failed to live that day as a gift. We all feel so blessed when we encounter things we don’t generally deserve or things we have worked up to in our life but then we get sick of it. We become that four-year old boy who has been begging his parents for a new truck, finally get it, plays with it for a week, maybe a month, and then forgets about it. Marriage is not like that. You can’t just marry someone, have fun with them, get used to them, and then three months later find a new toy to play with. You have to find ways to make yourself the ‘toy’ no one wants to ever stop playing with.

Which is hard to do. There is always someone who will be more attractive, successful, motivated, wealthier, than you. But as long as you remember why you started out with someone, other people in the world won’t matter. Don’t focus on who is out there, focus on what is in you, how far can you go? If you concentrate on that, I will tell you that you won’t be faced with what will life be like after the excitement of marriage dies down, rather you will be confronted with what excitement will today bring that wasn’t here yesterday? 

It is more than just living every day to the fullest. Like I wrote in My Dream, asking yourself how hard you worked today and not going to sleep until you’ve done all that you can, can be applied to this; how much effort did you put into your relationship today so that it can feel like it felt the first day you met your partner/spouse?

All it takes it the desire to make life beautiful and when any relationship starts out, all they should be focusing on is the beauty, not the divorce papers.

Make every day better than the first day.

Your Editor

Calling in sick

stop trying to rationalize how you can do something you really don’t want to do

I have come to realize that I am one of those types of people who cringe from saying no or telling people I can’t do something that I either am supposed to or should be doing. For example, I have a doctor’s appointment coming up and I didn’t tell my boss yet because I am already taking off for something else… but the appointment is still on and I just need to just tell her already. It’s not like she is mean about how much I take off (she may be annoying for other reasons 🙂 ) but I still dislike having to tell her. My stomach gets all pins and needles type and it really is uncomfortable.

The funny thing is I have no problem telling people in my family no. Maybe that is just because I am comfortable with them but up until now I have never really considered myself to be one of those people who are afraid to say no.

My better half is the complete opposite though and to me, it feels like sometimes he says no way too quickly. But that is all a matter of perspective.

Yes, I will tell her I can’t come in on that day because I have no idea how long the appointment will be and if it will take most of the morning then I might as well make another appointment for the afternoon and get it out-of-the-way. My problem is though, since I do not know how long the appointment will take I am not sure how to schedule the other appointment that I need to schedule, which makes me unsure of whether I should tell my boss I am missing the whole day or only half of it. I could just be finding reasons to push-off asking her… I am not sure which feeling is stronger, more like I don’t want to have to decide which is stronger. I really do not want to be that person that doesn’t ever say no.

I emailed her right before I left work that I will be taking that day off as well. I ran out of work before she could message me… maybe I am one of those people who never say no.

My mother is and it makes it a thousand times harder for all of us at home. Someone asked on one of the group chats if we could host some people and I was actually shocked when my mother responded that she couldn’t. I wonder what made her finally say no. Maybe because she realized she is nine months pregnant and there already 5 guest in our home and where would she put five more?

All I know is that I better start learning how to stand up for myself with others not just those I am comfortable with so that when I have a family of my own I can put them before others.

Your Editor

 

 

Twisted

balance your giving and taking, it’ll make your life a happier place

Life is full of unexpected events.

Today was a good day but it was twisted. I was happy but sad. Enjoying myself but knew deep down I was suffering. It was twisted. I didn’t enjoy it very much but yet there were some moments I thought were precious: that FaceTime call, baking cookies with my little cousin, playing with my little sister, and feeling proud about my fruit tart :).

So why was it so twisted? Let me just tell you this: the world is filled with givers and takers, you can be either or, but very few people are both. When you are surrounded my takers your life can either feel completely empty or somewhat full. Meaning: if I give because I know you will appreciate that I am giving, my life becomes a somewhat full life but if I am giving knowing your taking will never end, my life has just become completely empty.  I give. Unconditionally, except when I am being used dry and then I just cannot take it anymore. You can’t blame me, I am tired of being used. But some people just don’t know their boundaries, you give and they want more, and more, and more, and oh did I mention that they want more? So you see today was a beautiful day because I just let it not get to me: the fact that people are taking everything out of me. It is not as horrible as it sounds when you read it but it is quiet a not so great feeling.

I love to bake so when I was asked my automatic response is: yes. But call me crazy, I was sort of expecting a “thank you,” or anything for that matter? I get it, you needed the cake and you didn’t have time to do it but then shouldn’t it mean so much more to you that I went and did it for you? Call me crazy (don’t worry, you wouldn’t be the first) but I was sort of expecting something.

Now you’re probably thinking well she’s probably not really a giver but a giver that is giving only to take and my reply to that thought is: no. I give without expecting in return. Then why did I expect something here? Well maybe it’s because this person has a tendency to be passive aggressive (Dr. Perry has a good post on the character traits of this type of person), she takes, takes, takes, and makes me very not happy. She doesn’t just take what I give her, she thinks everything is hers and she can take whatever she wants, whenever she wants WITHOUT ASKING! You don’t do that. After saying no soooo many times to her, you would think she would be at least somewhat appreciative when I said yes.

I am learning now, or trying to, to balance a giver and taker, because there is no reason in the world why you can’t be both. Saying thank you is just proper etiquette, not even expectations.

That was just five minutes of my day. The rest of it had some twisted moments but I am focusing on being positive, not with her though, I don’t need to try and convice myself that she’s changed when she probably never will.

Wish me luck, she’ll be here all weekend.

Your Editor

Respect

just take a minute and be respectful

I was asked to speak about the topic of respect to a bunch of teenage girls and I sat down to think and this is what I came up with:

We all know what it means, it is how we include it in our life that makes the word actually mean something.  First thing first, you need to respect yourself. You need to respect the things you have from your pair of shoes to your expensive laptop.  Respecting your things depending on the dollar value isn’t the right way to respect. You have to realize that dressing a certain way, acting a certain way, going to certain places all show yourself and others the level at which you respect yourself.  Do you respect yourself not to drug yourself up? Or throw yourself at the opposite sex the first chance you get? You decide how much you respect yourself, and I’ll tell you if it is anything less than 100% you need to change the people you’re around, you need to figure out what is stopping you from respecting yourself 100%. Most of the time it is because of people you surround yourself with, and although you may not like to hear that, it is the truth.

The next part of respect is respecting how other people want to be respected.  I would not say just respect other people because you can say you’re respecting them but to them you are doing something that they do not appreciate.  There is a famous saying that goes: “don’t treat others the way you do not want to be treated,” but when it comes to respect it is not about you, it is about how they want to be respected and only that is true respect.

United States Air Force Lt. General John Silveria gave a great speech on respect.  There are so many levels of respect, I started with respecting yourself and then others, he spoke about respecting others race and identity, which is part of respecting another person but in a different form.  During our daily activity we encounter scenarios that entail respecting one’s property, feelings, and personal space. When you live with someone, family, spouse, partner, or a friend, there are different areas that you are faced with where you need to respect what the people living with you need.  For example, are you respectful to not talk loud on the phone if they are studying? Do you leave your plate in the sink for the next person to do, not thinking about if it will affect them?

All you have to do is think a little bit outside your selfish bubble for a millisecond and make a choice that can make someone feel valued.

Your Editor