Grounded for life

who isn’t 😉

I know, it sounds horrible.

But don’t worry, it’s not me I am talking about, it’s this really funny Tv show that Amazon Prime has. It has been one of the things that made me laugh this week. And I say this week because I legit finished three seasons in 5 days.

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If you have never heard of the show I will give you a quick summary:

A senior knocks up another senior and the right thing to do (back then at least) was to marry her, so he did. They have one girl (the bastard child) and two boys. The husband’s father and brother basically live in their home as well. Each episode is another scenario of them attempting to raise their kids the right way (whichever way that is).

My summary may sound bleak but I am telling you, definitely worth all the hours I have spent (no, I won’t say wasted).

Watching Grounded For Life does make me think about my own life. It puts you in your parents shoes and makes you wonder how many conversations they have had together discussing how they felt bad about something they did or how hard they are working to just give you what you want. It’s really hard to parent and it isn’t any easier when you have a parent on top of you trying to parent your parenting!

That’s a major reason why it’s important for newlyweds to start out somewhere else, give themselves a chance to make mistakes and learn from them. My theory is if you’re a nice enough person it will transfer over to your kids even if you screw up more than a couple of times. 😉

I only hope so that is.

I guess I’ll let you all know how it goes when I get there.

Your Editor

Let me give you a little perspective

Work.

My department got shifted up to the third floor to join the general pop. We aren’t smack in the middle, we still have a more secluded area. However, our room is the only entrance to the conference room. Let me tell you that in the 24 hours that we’ve been there, there hasn’t been many pretty conversations. Yes, we hear everything. It is really awkward because when the employee comes out they have to go through a little sort of ‘walk of shame’ till they can leave our area, yep… pretty awkward!

With today’s society, no one wants to think anymore. Everyone wants to scroll, click, zoom, like, anything not to have to do anything, including think. It makes going to work and being a part of work so much harder. If you think about it most of your parents growing up didn’t even have cell phones. I know, strange to think about it being that cell phones are legit part of every second of our day-to-day lives. But yes, there was a time were no cell phones were seen in human’s hands or glued to their faces. I must say, yes life had its difficulties back then but having a conversation with someone and being at work were much easier things to do. No one can control the rapid progress of technology and I am not saying we should try, what I am saying is that people are forgetting what matters in life.

You know why a lot of employees are being yelled at? because their quality of work is just an embarrassment. We all have our phones on us during work hours, we all say we’re giving work 100% of our attention but we have bluetooth, wireless, headphones blasting our favorite TV show, where did the 100% work go?

We need our jobs to live. Our phones are not going to be the ones paying the bill or feeding our never-ending needs, and in the society of I want and I need it can be a big issue.

You don’t want to get yelled at by your supervisor? You want to actually get that raise you have been saying you deserve? Well then it’s simple: prove it.

Put the god damn phone down. Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, can all wait. Trust me they aren’t going anywhere (and that also means Pinterest). If you seriously can’t control yourself then shut off your notifications. Once you start actually giving your all to your job you’ll realize:

  1. it takes half the time or less than you always take to complete a task
  2. you’ll feel like your eyes can breath because they haven’t been jumping from this screen to that
  3. you’ll feel more accomplished
  4. you’ll be acknowledged at work for doing a good job
  5. and you will probably be a happier person because you have finally decided to cut down stalking other people’s lives and started enjoying your own

This post isn’t meant to tell you to cut down on your social media, rather to stop doing something with half an ear and half an eye. Pay attention, give your fullest to whatever it is you’re doing in life; work, family, school. You’ll realize how valuable your time is and how foolish you have been wasting away precious time, and all for another level of Candy Crush.

I won’t lie, I listen to a morning show while I work and sometimes I watch a TV show, but this week I took it upon myself to stop and now I have so much free time at work and during that free time I watch or do whatever I want because my work allows me. But you see, I am not doing those things anymore while I work, I gave my full attention to my work and as a result I am rewarded with extra time, with no mistakes in my work.

A happy boss, a happier employee.

Try it, I dare you 🙂

Your Editor

And… the Internet is back

it wasn’t because I was in the woods

Yes, that is where I have gone, into a world where WiFi barely exist and I run around trying to find some sort of service, or even just a sliver of connection to be able to just one more text message. I am so sick and tired of: “hello? Helllooo?? Can you hear me??” and me yelling back “I HEAR YOU! CAN YOU HEAR ME???!” You do not understand the level of frustration and anxiety it gives me. Lesson: make sure you have damn good service in a house before you buy it.

I attempted to blog but the Internet just wouldn’t connect to anything; it was very, very, very, upsetting.

So with the WiFi back let me catch all of you guys up with my life:

The weekend went smooth, we had some unexpected visitors come from out-of-state and it’s very nice to see them, yes they are staying by us, where else would they stay? However, one of them has taken ill and is now hospitalized for possibly stomach cancer and it’s not fun. Mind you all, when they showed up, after I already cooked most of the food for the weekend, I was informed of their vegan status. Trust me when I tell you that I was pretty shocked how that information was not made known to the one cooking all their meals in advance. Foolish souls. Applesauce is a great replacement for eggs by the way 😉

I participated in Sally’s Baking Addiction March competition, I made what I thought was a very pretty cake, however I did not win, so that was disappointing. I also wasn’t one of the lucky ones to get their cake posted on her blog. It seems to me that she tends to use whatever she sees on Facebook as opposed to other social media sites. I guess I won’t be winning anytime soon because I do not have a Facebook account.

Why is that you ask?

Well I am just not interested. My life is too busy. I do not need to spend time looking at whatever everyone else is doing and feeling like I am missing out or why wasn’t I invited. We have enough stress in our life, why on earth would I put myself in a position to just gossip and snoop around other people’s lives? I suppose WordPress is the most I have got to social media and I feel like people use this more as an inspirational and therapeutic environment than to show off. That being the case, I am totally content without it.

As for the rest of the week…

I sort of did something I really shouldn’t have and I knew at the time that I was making a mistake and I should stop and I didn’t. I don’t know what possessed me to act so foolishly, or why I even had the desire too. I guess when things aren’t allowed for you, you have more of a temptation to do those things. Anyway, I feel dreadful. I, however, made peace with myself a little bit because I had a choice to tell my better half or not, if not, he would have never have found out. But as hard as it was: I told him. He reacted in the best way a person could. Legit. He was sweet, so sweet, didn’t scream or yell, or make this about him. He just acted lovingly to try to understand why I did what I shouldn’t have. I feel dreadful and no amount of apologies can take away what I did. It affects him too, and he’s trying to see why I did it because maybe he is the reason why I did it, but he’s not. He can never be. He is too good to me for that. No, I didn’t cheat on him, I’m not that type of girl, and I overly happy being in a relationship with him, but what I did still affects him. The truth was when I did it I wasn’t thinking that he would be affected, just that maybe he would be disappointed. When I had the conversation to him I realized that being in a relationship means that what you do, good or bad, will no matter what or how somehow will always affect your partner. I should have been smarted than I was, I should have realized. I selfishly did something I wanted to do without thinking of the other person in my life, that makes up my life. My life is no longer MY life to live alone and do as I please, I have someone who will be my Husband in a few short months that I constantly need to put ahead of me and think of before acting foolishly. Maybe all of this was supposed to happen so I can learn this lesson. They do say the best lessons in life come from experiences. I wish it wouldn’t have tho.

I’m disappointed in myself. I am better than that.

Your Editor

Balancing

learn to balance your need for protecting your child with their ability to grow into adults

I don’t know what it is about some parents but at some point they need to learn to cut the cord. You would think that once was a sign at childbirth but no. Maybe I don’t get it because I am not a parent but seriously?!

I get that you want to protect your kids and never want them to get harmed or lose their innocence, but sometimes, keeping them tied to your hip is more harmful than not.

Take a married child for example: they should not be at their parents home more than their own home. It affects their relationship with their spouse.

Some men are ‘mama’s boys’ and they are always crawling back home. This becomes a challenge for their partner/spouse because where do they fit in? I know someone who turns to their parents before their spouse. They view their spouse as…. nothing, to be honest with you I don’t even know how they got married. The spouse has no credibility, they both don’t listen to each other, and they barely spend time together. You may think I am talking about someone who has been married for 10 maybe 15 years…

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They have been married for almost two years. It wasn’t like they spent time dating either or knew each other for five years before they got married. Sadly, it looks like it. Now, I can’t say it’s all their fault, the in-laws aren’t much help either. Once your child is married you don’t get involved in the decisions they make as a couple. If they ask for advice, you can give them your opinion, but that is it!

I may look back on this post when I have my own kids one day and laugh at how crazy I sounded but I really do believe, right now that is, that there is only so much, and so long, that you can control your children.

On the flip side, the younger generations are of a different breed and they are primarily focused on their over-inflated egos, so if their parents are from a bit back, raising them and controlling them becomes a challenge.

Every kid needs a different level of control in order to help them grow into responsible adults. You can’t simply decide that because you can’t control what your child wants, and all they think about is themselves that you will just leave them alone to fend for themselves. No. Put your foot down, make them pay for their car, gas, and other desires that you do not agree with them having. Until they can meet you halfway, meaning say you have certain expectations of your child (which all parents should have because that is what will force your child to think outside their four feet) and your child has not met any of them, and I’m not talking about those parents who expect their child to do everything that when they were a kid, were unable to, I am talking about expecting your child to do their homework, help out in the house, wake up at a reasonable time etc., if your child can not do the bare minimum of your expectations, then don’t meet the bare minimum of their expectations. Depending on what home environment you come from or are building, their expectations will be different. If you have money, the child may expect that they are entitled to certain things, taking away those things will make them stop with the me, me, me, and actually think further than that moment of instant pleasure.

It is sad because it will take these kids late into their life, when possibly their parents are no longer around, to realize “wow, this attitude on life is completely self-absorbed and foolish.”

It is never too late, however, the time wasted can never be brought back. Control each kid the way they need it, in order to make them the best person they can be, not because you can’t bear to see your little baby grow up, you’re ruining them more than building them.

Your Editor

Calling in sick

stop trying to rationalize how you can do something you really don’t want to do

I have come to realize that I am one of those types of people who cringe from saying no or telling people I can’t do something that I either am supposed to or should be doing. For example, I have a doctor’s appointment coming up and I didn’t tell my boss yet because I am already taking off for something else… but the appointment is still on and I just need to just tell her already. It’s not like she is mean about how much I take off (she may be annoying for other reasons 🙂 ) but I still dislike having to tell her. My stomach gets all pins and needles type and it really is uncomfortable.

The funny thing is I have no problem telling people in my family no. Maybe that is just because I am comfortable with them but up until now I have never really considered myself to be one of those people who are afraid to say no.

My better half is the complete opposite though and to me, it feels like sometimes he says no way too quickly. But that is all a matter of perspective.

Yes, I will tell her I can’t come in on that day because I have no idea how long the appointment will be and if it will take most of the morning then I might as well make another appointment for the afternoon and get it out-of-the-way. My problem is though, since I do not know how long the appointment will take I am not sure how to schedule the other appointment that I need to schedule, which makes me unsure of whether I should tell my boss I am missing the whole day or only half of it. I could just be finding reasons to push-off asking her… I am not sure which feeling is stronger, more like I don’t want to have to decide which is stronger. I really do not want to be that person that doesn’t ever say no.

I emailed her right before I left work that I will be taking that day off as well. I ran out of work before she could message me… maybe I am one of those people who never say no.

My mother is and it makes it a thousand times harder for all of us at home. Someone asked on one of the group chats if we could host some people and I was actually shocked when my mother responded that she couldn’t. I wonder what made her finally say no. Maybe because she realized she is nine months pregnant and there already 5 guest in our home and where would she put five more?

All I know is that I better start learning how to stand up for myself with others not just those I am comfortable with so that when I have a family of my own I can put them before others.

Your Editor

 

 

Sick days & life

it’s just a cold, headache, ear infection, and my period

Growing up in a big family doesn’t always allow you to stay in bed when you’re feeling under the weather, especially if you are one of the older ones. I am now able to make dinner, drive carpool, hold screaming babies, clean the house, and go to supermarket all while having a headache, ear infection (yes, I am one of those adults that get them), cold, and on my period. I guess you can look at it as my parents are doing everything they can to prepare me for raising my own kids.

Without having any kids of my own (yet) I will tell you this:

  • Start your newborns on a sleep schedule ASAP if you don’t want to be up all night with them
  • After 5 months they should not be sleeping in your bed at all
  • Start feeding your baby vegetables before fruits because once they like the sweetness of the fruits they won’t take to eating vegetables
  • Make sure your baby gets play time on the floor, you don’t want to have to always hold the child
  • Never give your child more than two shots at a time; their bodies generally cannot handle more of them, plus I have seen first hand what lifelong damages can be done to a child
  • When your child acts out never call them a “bad boy/girl” because that can cause emotional issues, rather say what you did was not good
  • If your child is crying for one thing and won’t shut up distract them with something else, they will move on within minutes
  • Sometimes you just have to let them scream their head off
  • Don’t yell at your kids not to scream because they are learning to yell from you… you just yelled at them to stop screaming
  • When you want to show your child that you are disappointed in them refrain from meeting eye contact and speak gently, it will teach them not to do it again more than getting angry and hitting them
  • Ask your kids questions that require more than a “yes” or “no” response, it will give you more insight on their day and emotions
  • Make it a point to hug your kids at least once a day, a meaningful hug
  • Never tell your kids that there are no monsters under their bed if they think there are, you will be sending off a message that their fears are invalid, instead make a point to show them that you did not find any monsters but even if there are, you will always protect them. You are now sending off a message that no matter what they are afraid of in life, you will be there to protect them
  • Teach your kids how to read the clock so when they wake up before you want them out of bed they won’t get up (FYI this actually works)

So, when my Fiance gets on the phone and tells me to get in bed because I am not feeling well I try my hardest not to laugh. However, yesterday he did force me into bed where I slept most of the afternoon away and when I woke up, boy did I feel so much better. Therefore, another bullet point I’d like to add to my list is:

  • When your kids aren’t feeling well or you aren’t feeling well, get into bed and let the other people in the house take care of whatever needs to be done, trust me the house won’t fall apart without you while you take a nap

No matter all of this, my mother’s voice will forever ring in my head “just wait till you have your own kids, you’ll see how not everything is so simple.”

I guess we’ll have to wait and see.

Your Editor