Being you

who said you need to be perfect?

I have met wayy too many new people in the span of much too short of a time. I can vaguely recall maybe a quarter of the people’s names. One thing I have stuck to is being myself. I find that when placed in many new scenes one can lose themselves trying to hold on to what is around them. It is a scary thought because one can get consumed in it and by the time they look up they are surrounded by unfamiliarity, with no clue how they got there.

I met the people, said hi, smiled, waved, pretended to show interest in details I could not remember two seconds after being said, most of all I stayed true to myself. So when they all stopped dancing and I wanted to dance, I danced despite every eye on me. And when the wannabe girlfriend flanked around my Husband, I felt pity for her but did not detour from standing confidently beside him. And when I wanted to jump in the pool and only the kids were in it- we jumped in together and all the adults secretly wished they had the balls to do it. I am me. I may have looked like a fool to you. I may have worn the wrong outfit in your opinion- but it’s just that- your opinion.

I know it’s not over, being in a new place requires the constant smiles and overly enthusiastic responses, however, I will be true to myself- and trust me- it’s doing you a favor. Say what you want behind my back, I am me and I am proud of me, good or bad, I will try my best to be pleasant, sweet, and nothing but wonderful, you on the other hand, may just not be my cup of tea- but it’s great meeting you 🙂

I sound mean but I mean it from the goodness inside me: I dislike the show everyone puts on for everyone else, I dislike the constant need to sound amazing and always happy, life is serious you know? We don’t all live in mansions covered in heaps of cash with not a worry in the world. It is like driving down a road filled with beautiful houses; you met me once, stopped, said a few words, commented on my looks, and went on to the next. There is more to me than that. Maybe if you actually heard what I had to say instead of nodding until I am done so you can say what you wanted to say next- then maybe I would think you would actually care to meet me. Instead all these people walk by me, stop, say their two cents, leave, catch up with the person a few steps ahead who just did the same thing and discuss what ‘type’ they think I am. I have only heard good things circle back my way about myself but it also just confirms that the cycle of people walking into my life actually is factual. Now if only one would stop, look me in the eyes and care for a genuine response, not just wait to hear the perfectly fabricated response you want me saying.

So if I say something unusual, maybe it is because I am an actual person not just a house standing on a pedestal waiting to be awed at.

Your Editor

 

If you are going to be anything in life, be nice

it can’t hurt

It is a simple thing to be. There is nothing more to it: just be nice.

I met a very nice lady today, she gave her time to me, genuinely cared about how I looked, and took the time to make me feel good. Not everyone can be nice, but if you have the chance, nice for even a moment, is better than nothing.

My Husband laughs at me because I say “hello” and “good morning” to just about everyone I see. I can tell you that about 85-90% of the people do not respond. Why? I was just being nice and saying hello or wishing you a good day. I don’t get it. Actually, I take that back- I get it to an extent. If I was some creepy person saying hi then I do not blame you for avoiding all eye contact. However, last I checked the mirror, I looked as un-creepy as they get. Yes, everyone has their perception of what creepy is, but some people you can just tell are not out to kidnap you or steal your wallet. Anyways- back to being nice…

It is nice to be nice- if you know what I mean. You get pleasure from being nice to someone else. It is fulfilling in its own sense of the word.

There is  famous saying of “if you have nothing nice to say, then don’t say it,” I am not the greatest at following to it, but there are certainly some very fine people out there who have nothing bad to say about anyone and anything. I am human tho, and plenty of times I will complain about something/someone, or say a not so nice comment. But what I try to do is whenever a nice comment pops in my head I say it. I don’t care if I never met you, if I think your dress is pretty I will openly tell you “nice dress!” Your choice on how to respond- but I will not keep a complement inside. So, I will still have times where I won’t say the nicest thing ever but I have plenty more nice things that come out of my mouth that I say with pride. You never know when a nice compliment can save someone’s day, life, or even make a slight improvement, or even make them laugh because they think you are crazy!

I remember vividly sitting in class one day during a rough patch in my life and just waiting to see how long it would take for someone to just smile my way, say hello, wave, anything. I remember thinking to myself that if only people would look outside themselves for a moment they would realize that there is a world filled with people, and some of those people they can actually make a difference to. It was a lonely time in my life and I think that is why I try so very hard to look for the sad people in the crowd, sometimes it is hard to find them but when you make eye contact, you can see it all. No one should feel like that. No one should wait for someone to smile at them, notice them, we are all humans and deserved to be treated with respect and the simple and easiest way that can be done is by looking at someone and saying “hello”.

Your Editor

 

The Cafe Lady

who would have thought

Well what do you know, people sitting next to you really do get a kick out of your telephone conversations! Before I tell you the story I want to tell you another story. I was on the bus the other day and the girl sitting next to me, must have been around 16-19 years old, was writing out a text message of some form. Curious as I was and with nowhere else to look, I casually looked down and a little to the side and had a great view of everything she was typing. “I am supposed to sit at home and wait for my father to pass out then call the police,”… “The deposition just is a bunch of lawyers saying things I can never understand,” my heart broke. Who knows where this girl was headed to, what she had to deal with but just sitting beside her made me want to reach out and comfort her. As young as she was, dealing with who knows what, makes you realize sitting beside people from all ends of the earth is… there is just no words for it.

Today, I had a couple of words of my own, and so did she. We were sitting at a lovely cafe, kids playing, beautiful atmosphere, one of those places that just make you happy. There was a skinny, short curly-haired lady sitting directly across from us. From when we got there till she left we did not have any interaction except one. She mumbled something to herself, picked up the phone, and boy, what a mouth she had! Every other word was a curse word. “I’m Hungry and I can’t F****** leave here because then I will be expected to clean and cook for a F****** grown adult. I can’t handle this it’s breaking my F****** balls. I just want to go home and sit with my S**** and my own food and not have to listen to this F****** shrieking anymore.” It went on for a bit longer than that. My Husband and I took one look at each other, raised our eyebrows, and were very happy when she hung up, though it was quite amusing. She was overheating, most likely because she was hangry, but boy did she want to go home. Five minutes after her cursing fiasco, she gives me a smile and in the nicest voice ever, as if we did not hear her whole list of profanities, asks me to unplug her computer charger. This brought to mind the idea of how a person can treat a total stranger with the utmost respect and a person they actually know with complete and utter disgust.

It is like we have this idea in our mind that we need to be nice to those we do not know and being mean to those we do, is normal. Well, it should not be. Why should we care about what a total stranger thinks of us? They most likely will never see us again. It is a scary thought because you can be so angry at someone you know and the minute you bump into someone not as known a mask falls over your face and you are this brand new human that hasn’t a care in the world. This lady was angry. She was pissed. She was hungry, why couldn’t she express any of that in her tone when she turned to me? Just because one doesn’t know someone doesn’t mean that one cannot express an emotion that is strong. It is like we are all expected to be perfect and because of that everyone has a fear of what people will say and think, so they are quick to hide any sign of imperfection. If only we could have that feeling with the people we are most comfortable with, the world would be a whole lot better of a place. 

Plenty people are divorcing, separating, breaking-up, losing friends and family relationships all because they are too comfortable and forget that those closest to them still deserve respect. It is challenging because when you spend day in and day out with people you grow accustomed to being around them and forget that they still deserve a thank you and just because you are upset about your day doesn’t mean they deserve the lashing for it. It takes a person to constantly work on themselves to continue to make sure their relationships stay new and fresh. If you think back to the first time you met the person you are in a relationship with, most of the time it was a positive scenario and stayed positive until one person in the relationship got too comfortable and stopped thinking about the other person and instead only about themselves. It happens to everyone but being aware of it, makes you one less person part of the ‘people pleasing population.’

Your Editor

A man at the chocolate store

what we do for chocolate

I walked into the chocolate store at around 6 pm to find one person ahead of me in line and a million boxes of chocolate being prepared to ship. There’s about five workers preparing boxes and one helping the guy ahead of me. I think that this should be quick because there’s only one other person ahead of me so even if no one else is helping people and just packaging chocolate baskets, I shouldn’t be here too long. Listen to this guys order:

He tells the lady he wants to get something for his wife, you know for Valentine’s Day.

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“What do you guys have?” The lady behind the counter starts showing him different options to get a feel of what the guy is interested in, but he doesn’t seem to know.

“Well, we have these heart-shaped chocolate boxes,” she says. He seems to have liked them because he started inquiring about the sizes of the boxes and how many chocolates fit inside each box. I’m standing there thinking: finally. The man asks her “what percentage is your dark chocolate?” She responds: “one minute, I have to go to the back to ask”. “60%” she says when she gets back. Then he says “do you have it in dark chocolate? It can only be dark chocolate” So the lady goes back to the back to ask if they have dark chocolate, “No dark chocolate”. “Well can you make it in dark chocolate? and all the chocolates you put inside it have to be dark.” Off the lady goes to ask if they can do that. When she comes back with a yes, he starts questioning what sizes and then off she goes, again to the back. She comes back, they can do everything he wants it will just take about an hour. Finally, I think, that now it will be my turn!

But no.

Image result for gifs of frustration

The one man ahead of me says: “Okay so let’s do the big heart box with dark chocolate and dark chocolate inside, and I also have three daughters”. Oh no. He wants something different for each of them. Now, I am thinking okay 1) why can’t someone else help me, 2) he should have started off saying he needed 4 different chocolates. But nope, he tells her he has three girls and he wants something different for each of them, and it doesn’t matter if it’s dark chocolate or not, he just wants something different. He sees a teddy bear with a heart and wants that. Now come the million questions, but of course not all at once, he has to make the lady go back to the back every time because for some reason he couldn’t just think of all the questions at once. What size? How much does it cost? Do you have it in dark or milk? (I thought it didn’t matter!). Do you have the heart teddy bear? But your website shows this? Now, what about the roses? Finally, he decides he wants the roses. However, there are no roses, off the lady goes to ask if they have roses, no but they can make, well is it dark or milk? WHY DOES IT MATTER?!

My bags are getting heavy and I am seriously tired of waiting for this guy to make up his mind.

The lady behind the counter starts showing him different options they can do with the rose and how they could attach other chocolates to it, he seems to like it, but then there are two more to go. God help me.

Finally, after back and forth (yes, she got a lot of exercise, not just her legs but her brain and vocal cords) they come to some sort of arrangement for the two daughters, so all that is left is the third. “Well,” the lady says, “we can do a small chocolate box for your daughter, it fits like three chocolates inside.” He seems to like it but the famous question about dark and milk comes back- but of course I don’t know why he said it doesn’t matter if clearly he seems so interested in what type of chocolate it will be.

Yay!! He finished his order! As the lady is walking him toward the cash register, I hear him say “…Oh! I also have a nanny, I can’t go home without anything for her.” To be quite honest with you, I probably would have left the chocolate store 30 minutes ago, because this is such a complete waste of my time, if my mother had not been the one to send me here. You see, my brother’s birthday is on Valentine’s Day, so while everyone is buying their Valentines’ chocolate, I am attempting to buy my brother a birthday present.

Because this man’s order is all over the place, the owner of the store comes out to ring him up, when she sees me waiting there she starts on my order, while the other lady fixes up something for this man’s nanny.

45 minutes later, I can now go home. If you’re one of those people who can never make up your mind, just give the lady a list of things you need and your preferences and have her fix you up something, think of what you want to ask and ask all your questions at once, you’ll be doing everyone a favor.

Your Editor