Life can be as simple as a pie of pizza

Depending who you ask I suppose

It’s funny how life surprises you sometimes. I feel like we’re all living some sort of reality show and each of us (or I should say some of us) are living off each other.

I don’t know what to make of all the mixed emotions and craziness combined with all the positive events, it has just turned into a cat playing with a ball of yarn: I have no clue where the cat is (and that’s me, if none of you guys got that).

I think that is why I like dry, bitter, comedy. Everyone’s life is crazy but they some how make it into a humorous event. I find myself telling over my “reality show” to people in a very similar way.

I don’t want my blog post to be negative so I turn that negativity into humor. I am sure there is a psychological word for it or something.

So here’s an episode of today’s events:

I am laying on the doctors bed or whatever you call those things with my bra off and my sister FaceTimes in, of course my mother is there and answers because why not let my sister and brother in law see my topless? I then listen to then small talk on VERY high volume that I am almost sure everyone in the doctors office heard them. Mind you, the conversation went something like this: how are you? Good, how are you? Where are you? At the Doctor with you sister (camera turns towards me- I completely ignore) what did the doctor say? We didn’t see him yet. Oh, okay, what else? Nothing (shrug of a shoulder) did you take a nap? you’re going to be tired tonight. (Mind you she’s married for a few years now) Nah, I don’t have time to. Okay, well the doctors here so we’ll talk later. Okay, bye.

Now what exactly was the point of that conversation? Anyway, doctor comes in and I am touched with very cold hands. I don’t get it, can’t doctors like warm their hands before they touch your bare skin? Its freezing enough in the office as it is! He then proceeds to tell me an analogy of how my surgery will go: “well you see, it’s like taking a pie of pizza and we’ll just cut off a really small slice and close the pizza back together”…. and there goes pizza for me.

However, don’t you worry because it will only be a slightly deformed pie of pizza.

I am now wondering the psychology behind comparing my nipple to pizza.

Your editor

What a day

and where were you in all of it?

It started at 7 am and it feels like it’s never going to end.

I feel bad for all those people (manly men) who have to work 80% of their day. It is hard.

I spent wayyy too long staring at a computer screen and it wasn’t pleasant for my head or the people around me.

On the bright side I think I finally have a hairstylist and makeup artist for the big day. 100 days to go… feels like forever but it’s going to fly bad faster than I ever dreamed! I’m excited.

Anyway, enough about me. I heard something interesting today: people measure success by how busy people are. For example, if you say to your friends “I was so busy today I barely had any time to myself!” They view you as wow. However, if you would say I spent the day taking a walk, taking care of my kids, cooking dinner, they would feel bad for you. Even if you would tell them you spent the day solely pampering yourself, you would be looked at as nothing close to successful. Now, I don’t know who is the one that made up all the measurements of what successful is and how much of yourself you have to compromise in order to meet the requirements but it’s messed up. Doing something for yourself should be included in your schedule. I don’t care what you say about having time and being busy. The best way to reach real success and happiness is by giving yourself what you need to make you feel like you took care of yourself and saved the planet with your busy day of work. So, cut the crap, stop stressing everyone out around you and just go lock yourself in a room alone for five minutes and give yourself the time you need to close your eyes and just let your mind loosen from all the stress nots you have created inside it. I swear my brain feels like you know when you’re turning the top to something and you keep going tighter and tighter to try and make the top tighter and tighter, yes your hand feels it but guess what? my brain feels actually like it’s being squeezed into a tighter and tighter ball of stress.

Do yourself and everyone around you and just put the screens down and focus on what you need to make yourself feel human again, and if it means having a cup of coffee, so be it. You deserve it.

Your Editor