I guess it is a good thing when you still can miss someone so much after so long (pun intended). There are just so many moments that go by where I just look around as if searching for him, to catch his eye, to share an acknowledging look with. I don’t ever want to know what it feels like to not be able to meet your eyes.
Life apart teaches you how much you should value life together. Even the moments where you argue, it is all a thousand percent worth it. But can I just say that I miss you? I miss seeing your face in the morning and when I try and FaceTime you seems like poor connection always gets the better of us. It is like the distance isn’t far enough that the missed calls, the ‘failed to send’ messages, and the horrible Wifi just needs to add more space between us. In a way it makes finally seeing you so enjoyable. But in another way, waiting is pure torture. I have found distracting myself to be of some assistance but it doesn’t last long. What does help is thinking of you and finding creative ways to make you smile, even if it is from a million miles away. It is finding the quotes that say: I miss you as much as a bitch misses the point. The things that make me laugh because I know you will laugh too. Our love is strong and that is what fuels us, but what satiates my missing pains?
Looking at old pictures, moments, special letters is so bittersweet; you never know if you should smile or cry. Not letting it get the best of you is so damn hard. You suddenly notice that couple sitting on the far right corner of the bus and that is all you can see. That is all that your world is made up of. Then you take a deep breath and try and distract yourself only to find your eyes somehow keep going back to that couple on the far right corner of the bus.